


All That We Are

by MyFandomCausesHanaji



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Ed has both automail and alchemy coz I’m one of those authors, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Angst, POV Roy, Post-Canon, Romance, Temporary Amnesia, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, no inner monologue in the first chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-08-19 18:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16539989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFandomCausesHanaji/pseuds/MyFandomCausesHanaji
Summary: The one where Ed triggers some array and now his memory is all over the place.Will Roy be able to help him? What will it do to their relationship? Did they even have relationship before this accident?Read to find out!DISCONTINUED





	1. Day 1.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don’t know what this is and not sure if this gonna be a multichapter fic or just this small piece and then a huge one as chapter 2, I literally just wrote it at work in like 10 minutes, but I’ve had this idea for a while now, so I’m happy to post it xD

Roy didn’t know what to expect when he was opening his front door to the Elric brothers this evening. Sure, Alphonse had brought him up-to-date about Edward’s failed experiment with one of the arrays he had been researching, but from his descriptions it was hard to predict in what state Edward would be.

Alphonse called Roy in the office earlier today, sounding more irritated than worried when he declared that his dumbass of a brother accidentally triggered one of the unfinished arrays and now was suffering a mild and rather annoying case of a memory loss. Only Alphonse’s surprisingly rather calm voice kept Roy from getting too concerned and Alphonse reassured him that _“it’s not that bad”_ and most definitely just a temporary occurrence.

He cut the conversation short, explaining that he needed to have an eye on his brother and said that he was going to ditch him on Roy this evening to leave him under his responsibility, because Alphonse had a train tomorrow and didn’t have time to _“deal with the consequences of my brother's crazy shenanigans. Will serve him a lesson.”_

Alphonse’s irritation calmed Roy even more, since he knew that in case if there was a reason to worry Alphonse would be the first one to, and Roy awaited the evening with gradually rising curiosity.

And now he opened the door to the displeased looking Edward, which wasn’t such a new occurrence, and Alphonse rolling his eyes into his skull and sighing dramatically, which was not that new either.

Alphonse practically pushed Edward inside and gave Roy a hard stare.

“He is your pain now, enjoy,” he said, and then turned to Edward, who was looking around studying the house. “You stay with the General, brother. Behave.”

Edward pouted, folded his arms and grumbled, “Why should I stay with the bastard?! I can take care of myself!”

Alphonse sighed and said monotonously, making Roy wonder how many times he had to repeat the same sentence on the way here,

“You have triggered an array that messed up your memory, brother. You keep forgetting things. I’m sorry, but you need someone to look after you until the effect wears off. You have a note about it in your right inner pocket. Please read it.”

Edward frowned, reached inside the pocket and pulled out a rather worse for the wear piece of paper. He unfolded it and started reading, humming to himself.

Roy eyed him for a moment and then turned to Alphonse.

“How bad exactly it is?”

Alphonse sighed again and leaned at the doorway.

“His memory keeps going back and forth. Sometimes he just forgets what I just told him a moment ago, sometimes he can’t remember the last few years, like now, sometimes he seems fine for a moment before it starts all over again.”

“You don’t seem worried, though.”

“I’m more angry than worried. I looked into that array, the effect is temporary, I honestly can’t wait for it to wear off so I can kick his ass and he will actually remember _why_.”

“And when will it wear off?” Roy asked.

“Oh, wow, I’m so stupid,” Edward declared suddenly. Both men looked at him at that and saw him rubbing the back of his head with an awkward smile. “I remember now, yeah, sorry, Al.”

Alphonse looked at Roy meaningfully and turned his attention back to his brother.

“You won’t be for long, unfortunately,” he said dryly. “Try not to give the General any troubles while I’m gone,” he added and Edward nodded enthusiastically sending an apologetic smile Roy’s way. Alphonse waited for a moment, but Edward just kept smiling, and he pointed at the note in Edward’s hand, saying, “Write it down, brother! And get yourself some notebook or something. You will run out of space on this paper soon with how the things are going.”

“Right, right, I’ll do, Al, don’t worry,” Edward answered, rummaged through his other pockets, pulled out a pencil from one of them, crouched down, putting the paper on the floor, and started scribbling something on it enthusiastically.

“This helps,” Alphonse said to Roy. “Trust me, you wouldn’t want to explain him same things million times over.”

“I imagine I wouldn’t,” Roy answered thoughtfully. “So when did you say it will wear off?”

“I didn’t. But shouldn’t be long.”

“How long exactly is not long?”

Alphonse put the hand on Roy’s shoulder, gave him a look that was borderline pitying and then grinned viciously.

“A month or so, if you are lucky,” he said, chuckled at Roy’s widened eyes, and turned to leave. “Good luck, General. Would be a good story to tell your children after this is over, right.”

“I don’t have children.”

“Perhaps one day…” Alphonse looked at him mockingly and Roy entirely understood at this moment why Edward often called him the evil little brother.

“Right…” Roy said giving Alphonse a heavy look and the young man laughed.

“I’ll be off now, see you in a month,” he said waving his hand and walking away.

Roy sighed heavily and turned back to Edward, who was now reading whatever it was in his note with gradually growing surprise in his eyes.

Roy closed the door and then walked to him, wondering what state Edward’s memory was in at the moment.

Edward looked up at him with wide eyes and flush on his cheeks, blinked and grinned, and mischief pooled in his golden eyes.

Roy kept himself from rolling his own ones and smiled warmly.

This will be a long month.


	2. Day 1-2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title has changed!
> 
> I apparently have a soft spot for RoyEd fanfics having place in Roy's house. I promise there will be a few scenes outside of it later. 
> 
> Unbetaed

This first evening Edward rather soon passed out on the couch after going through several changes in the state of his memory, that were probably quite exhausting for his mind. It was not as bad as Roy had feared at first. Pointing Edward on his note helped to ease up his first confusion of being in this house quite effectively, though each time when Roy had offered him to add some more notes on that paper, Edward had answered with a confident _no_ , reassuring Roy that whatever he had written there had already been more than enough.

When Edward fell asleep, Roy sat in the armchair nearby and watched the young man for a little while, trapped in his mind between feeling uneasy about Edward’s condition and amused, eventually settling more toward the latter, since he trusted Alphonse’s judgment on that, and certainly having this rather harmless issue for just a month was not the end of the world. Roy contemplated whether he should start taking the notes himself, registering Edward inapt behavior and out of context questions, but he reasoned the day Edward learnt about Roy having such notes would be the last day of Roy’s life. And Roy considered himself way too young to die from the automail hand crushing his skull.

He covered Edward with the blanket, hesitating whether it was alright to just leave him here alone and going through all the possible scenarios in case if Edward woke up in the middle of the night in the unfamiliar surroundings. Concluding that the worst that could happen was probably Edward just waking him up with an angry rant, Roy went to sleep with ― almost ― clean conscience.

Thankfully, Edward managed to sleep through the night, and in the morning, when Roy walked down, met him with a very confused sleepy stare, that was gradually getting much less sleepy and more angry as the understanding where he was was downing on him without apparently any memories present of any reasons for him to be here.

Before Edward could get into his _This makes no sense, so I’m gonna be angry_ state that was his default and almost automatic protection from feeling in any way vulnerable, Roy went to pick up Edward’s jacket from the back of the couch and hand it to Edward, who eyed him with suspicion.

“The inner pocket,” Roy said simply.

Edward took the jacker, and mumbling _What the fuck happened, did I get drunk or something_ , found the note and started reading. As yesterday, his eyes widened with surprise, he looked up at Roy briefly and then averted his eyes, and Roy could see the adorable little flush on his cheeks through his bangs.

“Well, fuck…” Edward whispered, and Roy once again wondered what was written in that note ― aside from the obvious ― that made Edward blush. Most likely he just felt guilty for the silly mistake he’d done with the array.

“Hungry?” Roy asked, and Edward nodded. “I’ll prepare something. You should probably change from your clothes,” Roy added eyeing Edward’s crumpled shirt. “Go upstairs, second door on the right,” Roy said pointing behind his back to the stairs. “Pick something from wardrobe in the corner.”

Edward chewed on his lip, looked around the room, purposefully ignoring to look at Roy, and nodded.

“Yeah, ok. Thanks.”

“No need,” Roy answered with a smile. “It’s…” He cut himself short, shook his head, and turned to leave the room. “It’s no trouble, Edward.”

Before going to the kitchen he made a call to the office, watching Edward walking up the stairs and opening one of the doors upstair before hesitantly stepping inside. Roy hoped that Alphonse had been kind enough to warn Riza about Edward’s condition, because Roy had doubts his attempt to ditch work with an excuse of _I need to keep an eye on Edward to make sure he won’t hop on a train in an identified direction if his memory throws him too far in the past_ would work.

So when Hawkeye answered, he started with the simple,

“...had Alphonse by any chance given you a call about Edward?”

Riza hummed and said,

“You can skip work today, sir. And since Alphonse didn’t seem to be too worried when he spoke to me, I would assume your presence by Edward’s side is not needed twenty four seven, so I expect to see you in the office tomorrow.”

Sometimes Roy wasn’t sure who in their working relationship was a subordinate, but throughout the years he had learnt to never argue with her.

“It doesn’t look too bad to me either,” he answered honestly. “But he seems surprisingly… compliant.”

“Mmm.”

“Yes. Not sure if I should be worried or relieved.”

“Perhaps he is just confused,” Riza answered calmly.

“Still, it is quite unusual of him, and I’m not sure―”

The sound of a door slamming at a wall made him almost drop the phone, and he turned to look up. Very pissed off Edward was stomping down the stairs, and Roy smiled nervously, saying in the receiver hurriedly _“Nevermind, looks like all is back to normal. If I don’t call in one hour―”_ before it was ripped off from his hand and slammed back on the phone.

“Edward, w―“ Roy started but couldn’t finish, when Edward pushed him and his back hit the wall.

“You had no right to do this!” Edward screamed in his face. He was wearing a fresh shirt already, but his jacket with the note was still in the living room, and Roy cursed silently, thinking that they need to come up with the idea for Edward to never lose the note. If anything, Edward should probably just write it down on his palm and be done with it.

“Edward, believe me when I say that I have no idea what you’re talking about, and if you allow me―”

Edward stepped closer in his space, rising up in his tip toes that almost brought him to the same height as Roy and considering the state he was in, felt quite intimidating.

“It was not your place to tell him!” He went on, and Roy struggled to find a memory of one of the million arguments they had had throughout the years that would match what Edward was saying and didn’t really succeed.

“Edward, please listen to me―”

“I’ve listened enough of your bullshit, Mustang!” His eyes were jumping back and forth between Roy’s two and he was breathing heavily. “Explain yourself.”

“You lost your memory,” Roy said quickly while given a chance, and Edward frowned.

“The fuck you’re saying, what kind of shitty excuse this is, you have n―” Having enough of that Roy grabbed Edward, turning him around and planting his palm across his mouth. His other hand went to circle across Edward’s chest, pressing him close to Roy.

“I have zero idea what it is you are talking about, Edward,” Roy hissed in his ear, struggling to keep the young man still, while he was trying in his earnest to set himself free. “And I have zero idea what year you think this is, but you had an accident with an array yesterday, and now your memory is playing tricks on you. If you, please, get a hold on yourself for a moment, I will explain you everything.”

Edward stopped fighting and stilled, still breathing heavily and quite fiercely. But it was already something, and Roy slowly weakened his hold on him, letting Edward step away. He turned and looked at Roy with suspicion and confusion, and Roy thought he would definitely have to get used to this look as he was going to see it many times in the upcoming month.

“There is a note in a pocket of the jacket on the couch,” he said patiently, pointing to the living room. He fought to hold a sigh, but then decided against it, and pinched the bridge of his nose letting out a frustrated breath. He started to understand why Alphonse sounded that impassive yesterday telling Edward about his note. Already now these words were like a chafe on his tongue, and this was just the second day. “It should explain it.”

Edward eyed him suspiciously and clearly still angry, but silently crossed the hall to the living room in wide strands. Roy followed him after a few moments, when he heard the rustling of a paper.

This time there was no blush on Edward’s cheeks when he read the note, but the frown didn’t disappear.

“Well, fuck…” Edward mumbled, and Roy couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What’s so fucking funny?” Edward grumbled looking up at him.

“Nothing, Ed,” Roy answered with a smile. “You are saying the exact same words each time you read this note.”

Edward’s brows flew up and he looked at the note again.

“How many times was it exactly?” he asked.

Roy shrugged and leaned at the doorway.

“Hard to say. Your memories switch once in an hour or two.”

“Fuck damn,” Edward drawled, clearly impressed and his eyes shone with that morbid scientific curiosity Roy knew so well. “I need to research it,” he said, looking up at Roy with a grin, and Roy sighed.

“Of course, Ed, but perhaps you would want to have breakfast first?”

Edward lit up even more, throwing the note aside carelessly and Roy had a momentary itch to slap him.

“You don’t have to ask me twice!” Edward declared enthusiastically. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Your note,” Roy said dryly giving him a heavy stare.

“I’m not eating my fucking note, you bastard, did you hit your head or something?!”

“Keep your note on you, Edward, please, or for the love of me I am not responsible for my actions the next time your memory switches and you decide to wreck havoc for the reason that is long outdated.”

Edward pointed an accusing finger at him and screamed,

“It is not outdated for me, you bastard! Shouldn’t you be more considerate with me now, huh?! I am the one suffering from the memory loss!”

“If anyone is suffering here it is me, Edward,” Roy said impassively and pointed at the note on the floor. “The note. Into your pocket. Now. Or I am not feeding you.”

Edward gritted his teeth, sighed in frustration, and not tearing a hard stare from Roy crouched to pick up the note, stood up and put it in his pants pocket with the look more defiant than obedient.

“There. Happy?”

“Always.”

Roy turned to leave the room and walked to the kitchen. He could hear Edward following him, stomping heavily at the wooden floor, clearly still worked up, grumbling under his breath.

“Stupid bastard, why do I only put up with you.”

Roy smiled. This Edward was exasperating and was getting on his nerves, but it was Edward he knew and appreciated.

Everything was back to normal. Almost.

At least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, tell me, what do you want this to be? I haven't decided it. Should I make it sort of a slow build or just cut it short? What do you think will fit better here?


	3. Day 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the plan: a chapter for every day of this "around a month" memory mess thingy xD I'm still deciding of how long exactly this "around a month" should be.
> 
> Updates will be quite short and not always that frequent. Let's just hope I'll have enough ideas to see this thing to the end. I have quite determined plans for how this should envelop, just not enough ideas yet for all the "around a month" chapters. We'll see.
> 
> This whole fic is unbetaed, so feel free to point me at any ridiculous mistake or typo that I've missed =)

Next morning Roy fully intended to leave Edward at home, pointing him toward the small personal library and hoping it would be enough to keep the young man occupied throughout the day and all the possible stages of his memory. But Edward started the day in his several-years-back state, was looking at Roy weirdly when he was calling him by his name and not the alchemist title, and even after reading his note didn’t change the look he was giving Roy that had a bit too much of suspicion in it for Roy’s liking.

As if Edward couldn’t quite dismiss the thought that Roy was the one to blame for the state he was in.

Roy contemplated whether it was worth it trying to persuade Edward that he was certainly not at fault for Edward’s own reckless behavior, but decided against it — he would forget it anyway.

Eventually, when Roy was ready to leave and a car was waiting for him outside, he eyed frowning Edward one more time, sighed and pointed at the door.

“I suppose you can come with me this time. Hardly you would be able to cause more harm than you did when you were― How old you think you are now, Edward?”

“Fourteen,” Edward said and gritted his teeth. “I told you this several times already!”

“Right, fourteen.” Roy pulled on his coat, ignoring Edward’s angry sniffing. He must admit he had almost forgotten already how insufferable Edward had been in his teen years. Sure, he still was as short fused when he grew-up, but some of the rough edges in his personality had smoothed out with years making him not less entertaining but slightly easier to deal with.

“You being so buddy-buddy is fucking creepy, Mustang,” Edward grumbled, following Roy out of the house. “I’m not your fucking friend.”

“Of course, Edward,” Roy answered absent-mindedly, opening the back door of the car and stepping aside to let Edward in. Edward passed him, walked around the car and, making a show out of it, opened the door next to the driver’s seat and got in. Roy suppressed the sigh, lifted his head, looking at the sky, inhaled slowly and got into the car, closing the door behind him.

Edward was sitting with the arms folded on his chest looking before him while Havoc was watching him with an interest more suitable for a kid that got to visit a zoo for the first time.

Roy got comfortable in his seat and cleared his throat. Havoc turned to him, glancing briefly back to Edward, question written on his face.

“Whatever you want to ask I suggest you to keep for yourself, Lieutenant,” Roy said firmly. He knew Hawkeye had warned his team about Edward’s condition, but no doubt they still had million questions that Roy had no desire to answer.

Havoc turned back to the steering wheel, starting the car.

“Sure thing, General,” he answered cheerfully, and this pulled Edward from his sulking. He turned around abruptly and stared at Roy curving his brow sarcastically.

“How the fuck did you manage to get yourself another star, Mustang?”

“Oh, it’s a long story,” Havoc said enthusiastically.

“That we are not going to be telling now,” Roy added, catching Havoc’s gaze in the rear-view mirror.

“Huh, why not, can’t fucking wait to hear it,” Edward went on, grinning smugly. “Unless it was simply because you’ve gotten better at kissing asses, then spare me the imagery.”

Havoc choked and coughed awkwardly, and Roy pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. He couldn’t wait for Edward’s memory to throw him somewhere closer to the current day, as grown-up Edward wasn’t swearing as much as his younger self. Roy missed him.

Several minutes and a few more Edward’s obnoxious comments later, Roy was already regretting bringing Edward with him. He would have to try leaving the young man at home tomorrow and see how it would play out. If anything, there were just as many places where Edward could go come the memory state where he wouldn’t recognize the house he was in.

By the end of the ride, Edward suddenly stilled and looked around with a lost expression on his face. Roy kept himself from feeling relieved until he knew where ― or more like _when ―_ Edward’s memory threw him this time.

“Hey, Jean, where are we heading?” Edward asked in confusion.

“To the Central Command,” Roy answered instead and Edward turned around to look at him.

“The hell, Roy, I need to be in the lab, I have work to do,” Edward said, frowning, and Roy finally let himself relax.

“I will explain when we get there, alright?”

Edward shrugged, question still in his eyes, but he turned back without arguing.

“So, how have you been, Jean? How’s Rebecca?” he asked, and Roy smiled, listening to them chatting.

Edward was laughing at some of Havoc’s comments and the other man looked happy to be talking with his friend who he didn’t get to meet with that often these days now when Edward didn’t work for the military anymore.

Roy loved watching Edward like that, happy and unbothered, and he just hoped that this month Edward would get to experience once again more of the happy memories he had collected these last several years, the moments when he’d known he’d been safe and so had been everyone he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this tiny Day 3 chapter. Let me know what you think and what you are expecting from this fic =)
> 
> As of now I can promise no angst, but I plan for a couple of chapters with not really drama, but hurt/comfort/feels. Most chapters will have almost no inner monologue, which is intentional, but a new thing for me to write, as my usual style is 10% action 90% self-reflecting about those 10% of action, that some of you probably are already aware of xD


	4. Day 4.

Roy was reading the same line in a report before him for the he had no idea what time without understanding a single word in it. And it was not even the worst of it — it was not the first page of this report, meaning he’d read the rest, but couldn’t remember anything. His mind was too preoccupied with certain someone Roy had left alone at home. 

The pen he’d been spinning in his fingers was yanked from his grip and he looked up in surprise to discover Hawkeye standing beside his desk watching him disapprovingly. Granted, Roy was closely familiar with this look and considered himself at least partially immune. He cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. 

“I would like to have my pen back, please.”

“You doesn’t seem to be writing anything with it for almost an hour. Sir.” 

“I was reading,” Roy answered defensively, and, having nothing to do with his hands now, entwined his fingers covering the lower half of his face. 

Hawkeye eyed him for a few uncomfortable moments and then carefully put the pen in the pen holder on the side of the desk. 

“Permission to speak freely, sir,” she said with the tone that didn’t even imply for this to be a question. 

“Do I have an option to answer no?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Why do I even ask…” Roy sighed, dropped his hands and leaned back in his chair. “Granted.”

“You are fidgeting like a mother-hen―”

“I take it back.”

“―who left her kid for the first time alone at home.”

“I hate you right now.” Roy covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and heard Riza sitting down in the chair in front of him.

“He is not a kid, Roy,” she said softly and Roy risked to lower his hand.   

“Thankfully. Usually. You don’t know if he isn’t now.”

“It’s been several days, and the most he’d forgotten were just a few years, not a decade.”

“Several days is not enough to make any conclusions of a pattern in this case.” 

“When I spoke with Alphonse the other day he told me there was no reason to worry,” Hawkeye said, looking at him pointedly. 

Roy sighed, pulled his pen out of the pen holder and started spinning it between his fingers again.  “The level you trust Alphonse to is worrying me.”

Riza tilted one brow and her lips twitched in what was probably supposed to be a smile. “At least he doesn’t tend to overreact when it comes to Edward.”

Roy felt a sudden urge to pout but pushed it down. “I am not overreacting. I am feeling responsible.” 

Riza raised another brow and looked at him with amusement. “You are overreacting, Roy.” She hummed to herself and suddenly smiled. “Although I suppose it goes in both way.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was surprisingly protective over your broken finger last year,” she said and Roy could see a silent laughter in her eyes.

“That was simply because he was the reason I broke it in the first place and he was feeling guilty.”

“You still haven’t told us that story, Chef!” Havoc’s voice reached out through the closed door, and Roy looked at Riza lifting one brow. She sighed, frowned, stood up and walked to the door.

“I will take it to my grave,” Roy said dryly, pinching the bridge of his nose, when Riza opened the door and shushed Havoc back to his desk.

“Tsch, must be a good one…” Havoc muttered, abandoning his eavesdropping post, throwing anxious glances over his shoulder at Hawkeye’s hand lying on the handle of her gun. 

“Anyway, sir―”

The ringing of Roy’s private phone cut in whatever it was she wanted to say, and they exchanged a surprised look. Only few people knew this number and the call coming to this phone usually meant an emergency.

“Roy Mustang listening,” Roy said answering the phone.

“What the fuck am I doing in your house, Mustang?!” The all too familiar voice screamed in his ear.

“Oh, Edward, it’s good to hear you...” Roy pulled the dynamic further from his ear and shrugged at Hawkeye’s questioning look. “I’m happy to know you remember this number, but in this case you should also have a memory of me telling you to use it in case of an emergency―”

“This  _ is _ an emergency, you bastard!” Edward growled in the phone, and Roy frowned.

“Are you alright, Ed? What happened?” He asked, not yet sure what state of memory Edward was currently in.

“I’m in your house, that’s what happened!” Edward grumbled angrily and Roy relaxed.

“I see. I assume you haven’t found your note yet?”

“What fucking note?”

Roy probably should’ve made notes of his own and hung them all around the house, so that Edward would stumble upon at least one of them after his memory shift. Roy cursed himself silently for not thinking this through.

“In your pants pocket.” That, if Edward didn’t change its location or simply dropped it somewhere after this morning. His carelessness toward such an important piece of paper was spectacular, and Roy knew Edward well enough to understand that it was not so much intentional, but rather the product of the young man’s confidence in his memory in the first place, that often allowed him to memorise complicated arrays just after the first glance at them. Unfortunately in this case his virtue was his weakest point. 

Roy heard muffled insults and then the rustle of paper being unfolded followed. He could hear Edward breathing first angrily and then, after a sharp intake of breath, toning down and becoming more deep and slow.

“Oh.” Edward said quietly after a few moments and then asked in the voice very different from the one just a few seconds ago. “Did  _ I _ wrote this?..”

“Unfortunately I have no knowledge of what particular ‘this’ you are referring to, but yes, I did you see you write something in that note and I assure you till that day no one has managed to replicate you exclusive handwriting, Edward.”

Roy expected the outburst of emotions following his answer, but Edward listened to him silently and only his breaths in the phone’s dynamic were an indicator that the line was not cut.

“Edward?” Roy asked hesitantly, exchanging a worried look with Hawkeye.

“I see…” Was his only answer and the silence fell again.

“Edward, are you alright? If you need I could―”

“No, you can’t.”

“I could  _ have _ come to the house to keep you company if you felt like it, but I’m afraid Hawkeye wouldn’t let me.”

Edward let out a short weak laugh before answering, “No, I’m okay, no need… I…” Roy could hear him hesitating. Edward cleared his throat and asked, “So, I assume I’ll forget this soon again?” He sounded uncharacteristically sad, and Roy wondered what could’ve caused it ― so far pretty much every time after Edward would read his note, he would get excited about the very concept of the array that caused his condition.

“I’m afraid so.”

“How soon?”

“Up to a couple of hours I would say.”

“I see. Ok. What can I do until then?” Edward asked, sounding lost.

“You can read, if you want. There is a small library on the second floor, the door to the left.”

“Ok, sounds cool, bye.”

The line went dead before Roy could’ve said more, and he stared at the receiver in his hand in surprise.

“Sir?” Hawkey asked, and Roy returned the receiver back on the phone and looked before him, humming thoughtfully.

“He gets particularly strange most of the times after he reads that note.”

“Could you blame him?”

“I don’t know, because I don’t know what he wrote there,” Roy answered turning to look at Hawkeye who was still standing near the door. 

“Mm.”

“I  _ must  _ read it.”

“I wouldn't put it this way, sir.”

“I can just look at it when he is asleep…”

“Sir…”

“And even if he wakes up and sees me, it’s not that he will remember…”

“Roy.” 

“What if I―”

“No.”

“But…”

They bickered to the point when Hawkeye threatened to shoot him, but he could see the smile in the corners of her eyes.

She might be right, but at the same time, it was him who had to deal with Edward’s condition, and surely what Riza and Edward didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. 

He wouldn’t betray Edward’s trust, but he knew, if an opportunity arose, he wouldn’t be able to resist his curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next two chapters will be posted withing a week (and they are better than this one, I promise)


	5. Day 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in a row coz weekend  
> Enjoy! =)

On Friday evening Edward, who had been until now quietly reading a book that he found in the study earlier that day and that Roy had an impression Edward had already read before, suddenly jumped from where he had been sprawled on the couch and stared at Roy with wide eyes. Roy put down the newspaper he had been reading and looked up at Edward patiently.

“There is a note in―”

“Yeah, I know, the array,” Edward waved him off impatiently. “But I don’t remember shit before or after Al telling me this, and that it’s been _years_ since the Promised day.” He frowned and looked to the side, thinking. “How many days was it?”

“Five.”

“Hm.” Edward rubbed the back of his head, looked around, spotted the book that he had dropped when he jumped from the couch, and then returned his gaze at Roy.

“This is all fascinating and shit, but…” He trailed off, searched through his pants pockets, pulled out the note and glanced inside, humming to himself. “Yeah, there’s no time frame in here,” he went on, putting the note back into the pocket.

“I believe Alphonse said it should be about a month.”

“ _Should be,_ is not precise enough, I must know for sure. Do you have a study or something where I can sit and work?”

Roy stood up putting his hands in his pants pockets and studied Edward’s face.

“I don’t think it is a good idea, Edward.”

“I’m not going to activate it the second time, dammit,” Edwards grumbled. “What kind of an idiot you are taking me for?!”

“The one that now has the memory problems because he touched something he was not supposed to,” Roy chuckled and Edward flushed red.

“It was an accident, you bastard!” He screamed, rising on his tiptoes. “Plus, it’s just temporarily, you won’t have to babysit me for longer than a month.” He folded his arms and muttered under his breath, “Still can’t believe Al just ditched me like that… What?!” He asked raising his brows in surprise at the look Roy gave him.

“If you could not refer to this as babysitting, I assure you it will only benefit us both,” Roy said dryly and Edward huffed.

“It was a figure of speech, Mustang, get that stick out of your ass and show me to where I can get enough papers and pens to figure this shit out.”

Roy started toward the stairs, asking above his shoulder.

“How are you going to do this? Or are you telling me Alphonse’ work toward ridding your lab from all the material concerning this array was pointless?”

“Oh, I remember the array. And, my lab?” Edward stopped on his track and looked at Roy with a puzzled expression in his eyes.

“Edward, how do you remember the array you’ve been working on for the last several months _in your lab_ , and don’t remember the lab itself?” Roy asked, tilting his brow in amusement.

“Shut up, Mustang, how the fuck should I know, I don’t remember where your fucking study is either!” He folded his arms and pursed his lips.

Roy felt his other brow joining the first and smirked.

“Why would you assume you should know that?”

Edward blinked and averted his eyes, furrowing his brows and Roy regretted his silly joke instantly.

“Can assume whatever with a memory like this, not that I care. Stop wasting my time, I can forget this any moment, Mustang, just show me the fucking study.”

Roy studied his face for another moment, but Edward was pointedly looking away, refusing to meet his eyes, and Roy turned back to the stairs walking to the the second floor. He went to one of the doors and walked inside the small room, Edward following.

“Wow, Mustang, I didn’t take you for someone who could create such a mess,” Edward declared eyeing the practical mountains of books and piles of papers scattered on all available horizontal surfaces.

Roy had a lot to answer to that but took into an account Edward’s condition and decided that it was hardly something he could enjoy making fun of and it definitely was not worth a potential fight, so he just smiled and said flatly,

“I am a man of many talents, Edwards.”

Edward eyed him, looking completely unimpressed, and slowly walked toward the desk, stepping over the books carefully.

“Whatever, Mustang. I’ll handle it from here, you can go back to whatever it is you were doing.”

“As charming as ever, Edward,” Roy said, and Edward silently flipped him off.

~

In about an hour Edward flew into the kitchen where Roy was enjoying his evening tea and slammed a pile of papers covered in his shaky handwriting on the table.

“Ten years and twenty one day, three hours and…” Edward looked up at the clock hanging on the wall behind Roy, “...forty eight minutes.”

Roy felt his jaw drop and he deliberately carefully put the cup he was holding back on the table.

“Ten years?” he asked faintly and Edward blinked at him confusingly. There was a short moment of silence when Roy could see Edward was figuring out the reason for Roy’s shock, and then he hit the table with his palm and started laughing.

“Oh my god, Mustang, you should’ve seen you face!”

The tears were sparkling in the corners of Edward’s eyes and he dropped in a chair across from Roy in a new burst of laughter.

“I don’t see what’s so―” Roy started, but was interrupted by Edward slamming his fist this time in the table and falling on it face first, still giggling.

“Ten years is the furthest that I would forget, not the time the effect of the array would last, Mustang!” He declared and raised his flushed face to look at Roy with a wide grin.

Roy planted one elbow on the table and dropped his face in his palm breathing out soundly and closing his eyes.

“You will be the death of me, Edward,” he muttered.

Edward chuckled and stood up. Roy could hear him moving around the kitchen, rummaging in the cupboards and turning on the stove. Suddenly the warm hand squeezed his shoulder briefly before letting go.

“Nah, sure, you’ll manage,” Edward said with a smile in his voice, and Roy looked up to see him grinning happily. “I might even say thank you after all this is over.”

“Only after?” Roy asked and Edward gave him another smile before turning to pour himself tea.

“It’ll feel more rewarding after these remaining twenty one days have passed, don’t you think?” He walked around the table and sat down holding the cup between his hands. Roy leaned back in his chair and smiled.

“Yes, it will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter should be up during the week, it's almost done


	6. Day 6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update, would you look at that!
> 
> Have some hurt/comfort with your whatever the rest of this is

After a few days it was becoming clear that Edward remembering the events of the last several minutes or hours didn’t necessarily mean he could remember anything that happened before that. Whole pieces of memories were randomly vanishing from Edward’s mind only to appear at equally randoms times. There seemed to be no pattern in that and the only indication of a change was a sudden dilation of his pupils, that was not that simple to keep an eye on all the time. So basically dealing with Edward these days was a rollercoaster of unpredictable reactions, often blown out of proportions. 

In short, not really something Roy wasn’t already used to. 

Having that note in his pocket with whatever it was that Edward had written there was indeed useful. The only downside of it was that someone actually had to be there when Edward’s memory state changed to tell him about it. And as Roy had to work and couldn’t really stay at home with him all the time, nor could he bring him in the office every day ― that one time when he tried all the work almost stopped, as practically every hour or two someone had to sit with Edward and explain him everything ― more often Edward was left to his own devices. 

Thankfully, as Edward told Roy the day before, the problems with his memory seemed not to get further than when he was thirteen-fourteen, so even on the occasions when he would forget most of the past years and would get scared after he couldn’t find his brother anywhere, he would rush to where he had always known he could get help and got provided with some answers — to Roy’s office. Sometimes twice day. The positive side of it was that running around the city all day back and forth was exhausting Edward by the end of a day and so far they didn’t have any incidents in the middle of the night, because even if Edward’s memory was keeping its shenanigans while he was asleep, it was thankfully not enough to wake him up.

So if at first the idea of leaving Edward alone while Roy had to go to work was giving him some doubts, after Edward barged into his office a couple of times, bringing chaos and immense amount of joy to his team who were always happy to see him, Roy concluded that there was nothing really to be worried about, and they should not really have any problems with enduring this for another three weeks. 

Time flew fast after all.

And obviously as soon as Roy decided he now had a pretty good idea of how to deal with this situation, life decided to remind him why trying to predict anything about older Elric was bound to fail.

Roy’s bladder woke him up in the middle of the night, and after he relieved himself in the bathroom, he went to check on Edward in the guest bedroom. The bed was empty and, confused but not yet worried, Roy went to the first floor thinking that perhaps Edward was napping on the couch. 

When he found him neither there nor anywhere else in the house, he quickly discovered that all of his reasoning made in the light of a day when he knew Edward was fine ― as fine as he could be considering his memory issue ― meant nothing in the face of Edward disappearing from the house in the night without leaving any clue of where he could’ve possibly headed. 

Not bothering of changing into more suitable clothes, Roy slid into his shoes and threw his coat on top of his pajama suit, and hurriedly left the house. He jumped into his personal car that he hadn’t been driving so often these days, but then stilled realising he had no idea where he could possibly check first for Edward’s whereabouts.

It was barely four in the morning, annoying drizzle falling from the sky and the thought of Edward walking around the city at this time feeling undoubtedly confused, made Roy clench the steering wheel in his hands until his knuckles were almost white.

He started the car and drove in the direction of the apartment building, where Elrics had rented a flat after the Promised day. It was a short drive, Roy remembered Edward admitting once that they deliberately chose that location to be rather close both to the Central Command and Roy’s house. 

Quick check showed that Edward was not there, and next Roy visited the laboratory Edward worked in, with the same result. 

He highly doubted Edward would go to Central Command at such hour and that really left only one choice, that made Roy curse quietly through his teeth, when he started the car again, heading to the main train station.

The station had dark and depressing view, yellow lights located here and there not doing much against the darkness of the early almost morning. There were no people around when Roy quickly jogged from the car to the cover of the station's roof, only some homeless guy sleeping on the bench in the corner. Roy brushed his wet hair from his face and crossed the vestibule to the platforms. There were just three of them and it didn’t take him long to spot the lone figure sitting on one of the benches in the middle of a platform. 

He walked closer, noting the unbraided golden hair that now wet with rain water looked even longer and heavier. Edward was wearing a pajama pants and t-shirt he had gone to sleep in in the evening. He was curled up into himself, hands hugging his shoulders, hair hanging as curtain around him, and Roy took off his coat hurrying to Edward’s side.

Edward flinched and raised his head when Roy sat beside him, carefully putting his coat around Edward’s shoulders. He was frowning, but it quickly gave place to a surprise widening his eyes, when he took in the way Roy looked like. 

“Guess I missed an invitation to a pajama party,” he said quietly and Roy could see an attempt of his usual sarcastic remark here, but the words lacked bite and the quirk of Edward’s lips was too brief to resemble a smile.

“What do you remember?” Roy asked him, fighting the urge to bring the shivering man into his embrace if only to share some warmth with him.

“So I’m not crazy after all...” Edward reached to take something from the bench on the other side from him and handed Roy a crumpled newspaper. 

Roy looked briefly at the date on the front page ― two days ago ― and shook his head.

“No. You’ve had an accident a few days ago, touched an array that did something to your memories.”

“Shit.” Edward dropped the newspaper to the ground and covered his face with his flesh hand. “I remember the Promised day. And Al getting his body back. And then we rented the apartment not far from here.” He brushed his wet hair away from his face and reached to Roy’s coat on his shoulders pulling it tighter around himself. “I went there, you know, but no one answered the door when I knocked.” He paused at that, opened his mouth, closed it again and looked up at Roy helplessly. “And I remember bits and pieces after that, but huge parts are missing, and I didn’t know what to think, so I just went here. And here I found this,” he tilted his head toward the newspaper. “I missed about four years of my life…” He said solemnly. 

“The effect is temporary, Edward,” Roy said putting his hand on Edward’s shoulder. It was a metal one, and Roy knew Edward wouldn’t feel much, but he hoped the gesture itself would serve as a reassuring one.

“Where is Al?” Edward asked worryingly, turning to face Roy. “Is he alright?”

“Your brother is fine, but he had to leave, so he is not in Central at the moment,” Roy explained carefully, wishing he had had a peace of mind before leaving the house to check if Edward had left the note there. At this point, Roy wasn’t sure just his words would be enough.

“He just left?..” Edward said, standing up, hurt audible in his voice. “Why?..”

“He trusted me enough to look after you, I believe…” Roy rose to his feet as well, searching Edward’s face for any signs of possible aggressive reaction to the fact.

But Edward just hung his head, muttering something, and Roy had to lean down in attempt to make sense of his words. 

“He shouldn’t have,” Edward said, shooking his head. “You’ve done enough for us, and now I’m clearly a burden for you while I’m like that.”

“Edward,” Roy said softly, putting his hands on Edward’s shoulders. “You are never a burden.”

Edward looked up, observing him carefully. “Why are you doing this?” he asked. “Why being so patient? How long has it been even, this memory stuff?”

Roy weighed his next words carefully.

“Just a few days, in fact. And I am doing this because we are friends, Edward,” he said, squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

“Friends…” Edward repeated the word as if tasting the sound of it. “I see. That’s… good.” He looked down at his feet and stood quiet for a moment. And when Roy let go of him and let his hands fall to his side, Edward suddenly took a step toward him, pressing his forehead at Roy’s shoulder, and two arms wrapped around Roy’s middle. “Thank you. You know, for everything. Even if I don’t remember that.”

Roy wrapped his hands around Edward without hesitation, holding the shivering man in the embrace.

“You are all soaked, Ed. Let’s go home before you caught a cold,” he said and Edward nodded against his shoulder, mumbling something. “Come again?”

“I… I want to remember this. Will I remember this, Roy?”

Roy pulled him closer feeling warm breaths through the thin fabric of his shirt, and lowered his head, just barely touching the crown of Edward’s head with his lips.

“Three more weeks, Ed.”

Three more weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect updates to always be so often, I have nothing else except some raw drafts written for the rest xD


	7. Day 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How 'bout a little cameo for those of you who read "Lest we forget"? xD

At night ― what remained of it ― Roy dreamt of golden hair and mismatched hands. In the morning he woke up to the pillow being thrown in his face and very pissed looking Edward, who was standing in the middle of the bedroom, arms folded and eyes shooting daggers.

“What. The. Fuck.” He said and Roy put down the pillow he had been attacked with and sat up in the bed.

“Good morning to you too,” he said. “If you please go back to the guest bedroom and look in one of your pants pockets, you―”

“What?!” Edward shouted, not moving a muscle and getting visibly angrier, and Roy was trying to narrow down all the possible time periods Edwards could have memory of at this moment.

“You’ve had an accident and now suffer memory loss,” Roy sputtered as fast as he could and Edward’s hands fell at his sides.

“What?..” He repeated now much quieter, angry frown shifting to a concern one.

“It is temporary and not as bad as it sounds. That array you’ve been working on in the lab… You remember the lab, right?” Edward nodded and his flesh hand flew to brush his hair away from his face. “So, that array caused the gaps appear in your memory, not following any particular pattern.”

“Fuck... How long has it been?”

“Just about a week.” Roy stood up from the bed and put on his robe, tying it on his waist. “And about twenty days to go. It is not that bad.”

“Shit.” Edward’s hands shifted as if he wanted to put them in the pockets, but his pajama pants lacked any, so he folded his arms on his chest awkwardly. “I kind of freaked out when I woke up.”

“Understandable. Although I would still advise you to read the note you will find in your pants pockets, it might be more helpful than my explanations.”

“Yeah, right…” Edward nodded, eyed Roy for a moment looking as if he wanted to say something else, but then he shook his head and left the room in silence. Roy could hear his uneven steps follow to the guest room.

Roy changed from his sleeping clothes and when he opened the door to exit the bedroom, Edward stormed past him to the stairs not sparing Roy a glance, and before Roy could ask anything, he was out of the front door throwing the _‘Ill be in the lab’_ above his shoulder before slamming the door shut.  

 _At least he remembers the lab_ , Roy thought to himself, shrugging, and walked downstairs to start his hopefully uneventful day, noting to himself, that he should probably check on Edward in a few hours.

~

Unsurprisingly so, in two hours Roy received a call from one of the alchemists in Edward’s team, who, clearly holding back a laugh, informed him that he would do all of them a great favor if he picked Edward up from the lab and drove him home.

 _Here goes the Sunday_ , Roy thought, absentmindedly getting into the car and heading to the lab, that hopefully was not that far.

The lab met him with too freshly looking wall that had suspicious traces of the recently used alchemy and smell of smoke and stone dust. It wouldn’t be the first time Edward would blow up his own laboratory so Roy wasn’t too concerned. He turned the corner and spotted Edward standing near the main entrance. He had his hair in a loose mess and when Roy walked closer he spotted a distant smell of burnt hairs. Thankfully from the first look most of it was still on Edward’s head.

Edward was talking with a man standing by his side, who Roy recognised as Edward’s cowoker who had called him earlier. Edward was waving his hands enthusiastically and the man was nodding absentmindedly with relaxed smile, one eye squinted at the bright sun.

“I should’ve known he’d drag you along in his urgency to work on Sunday, Mark,” Roy shook the hand the other alchemist offered and turned to Edward, adding, “When normal people prefer to rest, Edward.”

Edward opened his mouth to answer, but Mark was faster.

“Not the first time this happens, although I was surprised when he called, considering the state of his memory,” the man said, throwing an ironic glance at Edward. “I wasn’t sure he would even remember he had a lab.”

“Hey, I remember, alright!”

“Did he blew it up again?” Roy asked as Mark took out a pack of cigarettes and pulled one out with his teeth.

“I’m standing right here, you can ask me, you bastard!”

“Yeah, almost burned his hair in the process.” Mark lit up the cigarette with a lighter and took a long drag. “Not the first time either.”

“I didn’t know someone changed that array!”

“ _You_ changed that array, Edward.” Mark looked at Edward pointedly, a brow lifted in amusement. “You just don’t remember it.”

“How is it my fault then?!” Edward hissed, his messy hair sticking up to all sides reminding Roy of an angry cat.

Roy had to bit his cheek not to let this comment out ― half of the time when Edward didn’t have his full set of memories, he was like a lost kitten, and half — like a very angry one. Roy had learnt that the first could become the second in a matter of the blink if Edward was told about it.

Mark, on the other hand, either didn’t know that or didn’t care.

“I must admit a bit of a memory loss makes him almost adorable, right, Roy?” he said, eyes laughing, and Edward jumped away from his hand, that no doubt had been aiming to pet his head.

“I swear, I’ll fire you, Mark!” Edward yelled, but the man just smirked and tilted his head. Roy could see it coming from the mischief gleam in his eyes.

“If you remember to,” Mark said and dodged Edward’s fist with a chuckle.

“You asked for it!” Edward darted forward but was stopped by the grip of Roy’s hand on his shoulder. “What the fuck?!”

“Not killing your friends unless you can guarantee you will remember it the next morning,” Roy said flatly holding back a smile so not to encourage Edward’s ridiculous behavior. Roy had known Mark for years, and the man tended to have a sadistic hobby of riling Edward up. Sadistic, because furious Edward was affecting everyone around, starting yelling matches with other people in the lab, with Roy, Alphonse and once even with Hawkeye, all along Mark himself stayed completely composed, seemingly enjoying the chaos.

“Then after this memory shit is over you remind me that he said that!”

“Take the note,” Roy answered impassively, pulling him toward the car and waving Mark goodbye with his free hand. “I’m taking you home. Feel free to blow yourself up after _this memory shit is over_ ; until then I must keep in mind that Alphonse is sharpening the knife somewhere in Creta that he is going to use to skin me alive if something happens to you this month.”

“Pff, _Al_ wouldn’t use a fucking knife,” Edward said confidently and Roy let go of his shoulder when they reached the car. “He will make _you_ do it yourself.”

Roy opened the passenger door, letting Edward in, and walked around the car to the driver’s side.

“Yes,” he said getting inside the car and dropping his forehead on the steering wheel. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is ready and will be up within the next couple of days
> 
> Also, if you have some ideas for the situations that might occur in this fic feel free to share -- I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to come up with smth new for all the remaining 19 days xD


	8. Day 8.

Edward was slouched on the couch in Roy’s office, nose deep in a book and brows furrowed in concentration. Every nineteen pages ― Roy counted ― he would suddenly stop, mumble something incomprehensive through clenched teeth, and flip back through the pages he had just read, grumbling in irritation.

He had been at it since he’d stormed into Roy’s office two hours ago, saying that if there was nothing for him to do anyway considering the unexpected shifts in his memory state, except for waiting it off while reading, he might as well do it under Roy’s nose in order to minimize a possible outburst when his memory flipped him off again ― the words _In your left pocket_ or such would leave Roy’s mouth now even without much of his consent when he would notice with the corner of his eye any shift in Edward’s behavior.

After another round of quiet curses and the rustle of turning pages, Roy put his pen aside and lifted his head to look at Edward.

“In your―”

“I know!” Edward closed the book, pushing it away, and covered his face with his palms, groaning in frustration. “I remember how I came here, but keep forgetting a few pages I’ve read. That’s fucking annoying.”

Roy raised a brow in surprise ― that was the weirdest way so far of how that memory issue manifested itself.

“Considering you finished this book about a year ago already, I might only advise you not to be so upset over this,” he said tilting a corner of his mouth in a smirk.

Edward picked through his fingers and gave Roy a hard stare of his right eye.

“Not helping!”

Roy chuckled, threw a glance at the wall clock and stood up, stretching.

“The workday is practically finished. I’m sure Hawkeye wouldn’t mind if I leave a few minutes earlier―” Someone cleared their throat in the main office but no objections followed, so Roy went on, “―considering the circumstances.” He looked pointedly at Edward, who was rising up from the couch, and saw his golden eyes squinting in a warning.

“This how you call me these days now when I can’t hear? _The Circumstances?!”_ He folded his arms, frowning at Roy, but Roy could see the slight quirk of his lips.

Roy just smiled and took his coat from the hanger near the door.

“Would you mind if we stop somewhere before heading home?” he asked and Edward tilted his head.

“Where?”

Roy smiled, putting on his coat and handing Edward his own one.

“You’ll see. But I assure you, you will like.”

“Yeah, how so?”

“It has food.”

Edward swallowed and licked his lips, grabbing his coat and storming out of the inner office.

“Say no more!”

Roy laughed softly and followed.

~

Roy walked in the Cretan restaurant with Edward treading after him and went straight to the small bar stand with the door to the kitchen in the back wall.

“Mr. Mustang, mr. Elric! it’s been a while!” The man behind the bar greeted them with a wide smile.

“Life has been hectic,” Roy answered, shaking the offered hand and then looking at Edward pointedly, who followed the example while staring at Roy with a question written in his eyes.

“As usual, I presume?”

“Yes, please.” Roy smiled politely and the man nodded and went to the kitchen to give the cooks the information about their order.

“Usual?” Edward asked quietly, raising his brows.

Roy walked to the nearest empty table and sat down. Edward followed, sitting in the chair across from Roy and leaning forward on his elbows on the table.

“Been a while? Usual?!” Edward’s brows slid to their usual place forming a small crease between them.

“This place opened about two years ago and has been your favorite ever since,” Roy explained calmly watching Edward’s frown slowly smoothing away. “The location is quite convenient,” Roy added, without going into too many details of what exactly was making it so.

“Hm,” Edward hummed, sitting back in his chair and looking around. “Makes sense.” He turned his eyes back at Roy, asking, “And what’s my favorite here?”

“You’ll see.” Roy smiled curving his brow. “But I guarantee you, you will enjoy it immensely.”

A blush reddened Edward’s cheeks and he averted his eyes looking at his hands on the table surface.

“Whatever,” he muttered.

They waited for their food in the silence, that was quite comfortable for Roy, but, judging by little fidgeting now and then, felt awkward to Edward. He was deliberately avoiding to look at Roy and Roy took this chance to just observe the play of warm lights on Edward’s golden hair.

Roy was the Flame Alchemist, he was bound to be enamoured by such colors. Not that he really minded.

The food arrived in two big plastic bags and while Edward was frantically searching his pockets for his wallet ― which he didn’t have because Roy had hidden it after that night when he found Edward at the train station ― Roy paid for the both of them, took the bags and rose from the table.

“Why takeaway?” Edward asked when they were back in the car, food safe on Edward’s laps and Roy’s attention on the road.

“Figured you’d prefer it over sitting in the restaurant.” Roy gave his voice a bit of an asking intonation and glanced briefly at Edward, who was sniffing the air above the boxes no doubt trying to figure out what was inside. His stomach growled and Roy smiled.

“Sure, but…” Roy could see from the corner of his eye Edward turning to look at him. “He said _as usual_.”

“After you left the military I suppose it got easier for you to consider me more as a friend,” Roy answered. “You didn’t like stepping your foot on Central Command grounds too often, so you started visiting me at my house once in a while.” Roy glanced at his companion, but Edward had already turned away, now facing the windshield, brows furrowed in thought. “We’ve had a lot of interesting conversations,” Roy finished, turning his attention to the road.

Edward was silent for a few moments, and when Roy was already pulling over near the house, he suddenly spoke,

“Shame, I don’t remember any of that.”

There was a smile in his voice, and Roy parked the car, looked at him and indeed Edward’s lips were curved in almost delight.

“What’s the smile about?”  

Edward shrugged and got out of the car, holding the meal bags close to his chest with the same tenderness as Alphonse would be holding a kitten.

“It’s just nice, you know,” Edward said when Roy stepped outside as well, locking the car, and they started walking to the house. “To not fight and scream at each other, I mean.”

Roy opened the front door, letting Edward and his precious bundle inside.

“It was you who was screaming most of the time, Edward.”

Edward headed to the kitchen, throwing above his shoulder,

“Not true, you’d always join me in that eventually.”

“What can I say, you just have this effect on me,” Roy muttered, turning to the stairs. “I’ll go change and will join you in a minute,” he said louder. “Please, try not to eat everything.”

“No promises!” Edward shouted from the kitchen, and Roy heard the rustle of meal boxes being open. “Oh, wow, I know I’m gonna love it!”

Roy smiled and headed upstairs. He better hurry or there wouldn’t be any food left for him.

~

Roy changed his pants and just finished unbuttoning the shirt, when the door to the bedroom burst opened and Edward stepped in.

“Hey, Mustang, listen, I―” He trailed off when his eyes fell on Roy and Roy could see his throat move when he swallowed. “Damn, Mustang, when do you have time to stay fit?” Edward asked suddenly and Roy smirked.

“Why, thank you, Edward,” he answered, putting his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “What is it so urgent you wanted to speak with me about?”

Edward’s eyes followed the movement of Roy’s hands, and after the young man apparently realised that it made him stare too obviously at Roy’s crotch, he blushed and jerked his eyes up and to the side.

“Are you going to finish dressing or something?” he grumbled.

“I thought I would let you enjoy the view,” Roy deadpanned not moving a muscle and enjoying the furious blushing of Edward’s cheeks.

“You!” Edward turned to him with a familiar irritated frown, but his eyes fell on Roy’s half naked torso again and turned away, folding his hands and mumbling something under his breath.

“You should knock next time, if my state of undress causes you such discomfort, Edward.” Roy took off his shirt and quickly pulled on a t-shirt he’d prepared before Edward interrupted him. “You can turn back.”

“I had fun,” Edward said suddenly and Roy tilted his brow in surprise.

“Pardon?”

Edward looked at him and there was an uncertainty in his eyes Roy wasn’t used to see there. He chewed on his lower lip, hesitating, brushed away his bangs in a half-nervous gesture ― they fell back on his face the next second ― and locked his eyes with Roy’s.

“Today, I had fun,” he said again. “What I remember the last is us being constantly at each other’s throats. I guess I’m glad we don’t actually have to fight all the time, you know.”

“I know,” Roy answered simply and smiled warmly.

Edward bit on his lip again and Roy couldn’t help it when his eyes darted to the place.

“I want to remember that. Will I?” Edward asked taking two steps forward and this reminded Roy of the same question he asked two days ago when Roy had found him at the train station, lost and miserable.

“I don’t know, Ed,” Roy answered honestly in a quiet voice and he could see the spark of disappointment in Edward’s eyes, before he averted them looking at his feet.

He was silent, and Roy walked quietly to him, putting his hand on Edward’s shoulder. Edward flinched, stepping back, eyes flying up, wide with surprise, and Roy withdrew his hand, trying not to feel hurt at the unexpected reaction.

“Sorry,” he started, but Edward shook his head.

“No need, I just didn’t expect you to suddenly be that close,” he said and swallowed visibly. “Listen, I…” he trailed off furrowing his brows looking through Roy unseeingly. Roy moved to step back to give him more space, but metal fingers suddenly locked around his wrist. “Wait.”

Roy stopped and Edward released his wrist. He was chewing on his lip again, and Roy thought a bit more and it would bleed, he itched to touch Edward’s face with the tip of his fingers, release his lip from the assault of the teeth, but he didn’t let himself move, hands fisted at his sides.

Edward breathed out soundly and at least some tension visibly left his body.

“Ah, hell,” he said looking up in Roy’s eyes and suddenly smiled almost daringly. “I probably won’t remember this anyway…”

He stepped forward, rose on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Roy’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave you hanging ;)


	9. Day 9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and for the too short chapter -- didn't feel like writing recently and have been "busy" playing Horizon: Zero Dawn xD Sumanai xD

The phone call was a nice and convenient distraction both from the necessary work and completely unnecessary but highly intrusive thoughts of the certain amnesia-affected individual, that had been not getting Roy anywhere in particular, just dragging in circles on his mind.

The voice answering his standard greeting was the one he had been both looking forward to hear and dreading to ― after all, he knew quite well what subject they would be discussing and where this discussion would eventually go.

“Glad to hear your voice, General. Means brother hasn’t killed you yet.” Alphonse, as usual, managed to sound as cheerful as mocking. 

“Good to hear you too, Alphonse,” he said trying not to let in his voice how much Edward’s little brother actually intimidated him. Not that Roy was really afraid of him, nothing of the sort. And all three of them knew that Alphonse would never actually go to such extent as bringing to reality all the threats he had been telling Roy over the years. It was a play the three of them had been playing, and Alphonse was just a tad too good at this.

“I assume Edward is doing well either?”

“As well as he could considering the circumstances.”

“Is he nearby?”

“No, I asked him to stay at home,” Roy answered carefully and heard a soft sound that he knew was Alphonse’s smile getting that sharp edge that when Roy could see it was sending cold creeping sensation down his spine. 

“Hm. Risky.”

The boy was more than fifteen years younger than him. This was absurd. But nothing could be done about Roy having a huge soft spot for the both Elrics. It just happened that in relation to the younger one it showed itself in Roy genuinely respecting Alphonse to the point of often avoiding arguing with him and letting him enjoy his little intimidating game. 

Edward had been infuriated in Roy taking Alphonse’s side in the past, when with Edward Roy kept fighting over the smallest things. 

Neither of them had ever admitted that they genuinely enjoyed it each time.

“I tried bringing him to the office one day but he is too much of a distraction.”

“Oh, no doubt!” Alphonse answered cheerfully. “When wasn’t he, right?” 

Also, Alphonse was really good at loaded questions.

“Hm. Anyway, there is not so many places he could wander off so I am confident not having someone to watch over him every minute should not be too problematic.”

“True. But just so we’re clear, General: if something happens to him, I’ll have you skinned.” The threat was said with smile audible in Alphonse’s voice, and Roy let his own lips curl up. The conversation was taking the usual for the most of their talks turn and, being as unavoidable as the both Elrics were ready to go through hell for one another, Roy might as well enjoy it. 

“That’s a new one. Last time you said you would make Hawkeye an offer she wouldn’t be able to say no to so she shoots me in an knee.”

“I’m trying a more creative approach.”

“And if I may ask, would you be doing it yourself or hire someone more proficient in skinning?” Hawkeye chose this moment to enter Roy’s office, but catching the end of Roy’s phrase, sent him a sympathetic look and, mouthing,  _ Say hello to Alphonse for me,  _ retreated to the main office. 

“I think I would use an array,” Alphonse said thoughtfully and Roy almost believed that the young man actually spent more than a second thinking about it. Almost.  

“I don’t believe such an array exists, Alphonse.”

“Then I will have to invent it myself for this occasion, General.”

“Mm, I am honored.”

“You should.” 

That was probably true. After all Alphonse trusted him with his precious brother. Honestly, Roy couldn’t ask for more. 

“Alphonse, you’ve given me so many threats by now, so forgive me if I am a bit puzzled of whichever it is you would actually do to me if something happens to Edward.” 

“Perhaps I am giving you an opportunity to choose the way you die, General.”

Roy hummed, pretending that he was giving it a serious thought, and answered, trying to keep a smile from his voice,

“How about the one when you are kidnapping me and bringing me to some abandoned warehouse, where you glue me to a chair, as well as glue my fingers together and my hands to my sides and then set the building on fire and laugh ominously?”

“Good choice, General!” Alphonse let out a short laugh and then added, more serious, “Jokes aside, Roy, though I assure you only part of this was a joke, how is Edward?” 

“He is managing,” Roy answered honestly and then added after some consideration. “He is quite fast to adapt, as you well know, and so far I would say it is not causing him that much stress.”

“As I thought,” Alphonse said quietly, hummed and then asked, voice softer than before, “And how are you?”

“I…” Roy stumbled over the answer. Until now he had been not letting himself to overthink it, knowing well that when it came to a wrong array going off the consequences this time were not the worst scenario. It was temporary, and, if he was completely honest with himself, at times it was quite amusing and even endearing to see Edward being all confused and flustered. But sometimes the confusion in Edward’s eyes only reminded him that it had taken them both a lot of time, patience and acceptance to get where they were now. Seeing in those eyes the Edward that still didn’t trust Roy, considering him if not an enemy but not a friend either, was not something Roy could consider a pleasant experience. “I’m fine, Alphonse, thank you for asking.” 

“You paused there.”

“It is strange, that’s it.” 

Alphonse was silent for a moment and Roy waited patiently. 

“I can’t imagine how you feel, Roy,” Alphonse answered quietly. “But… It’s less than three weeks left, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You’d waited longer.”

“That’s true.” Roy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

“Was it worth it?” Alphonse asked on a verge of a whisper.

“Yes,” Roy breathed out and he could hear Alphonse humming happily, no doubt smiling. “He always is.”

  
  



	10. Day 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I was in a foul mood when writing this. Nothing really bad, but not a xmas mood, so consider yourself warned.

After ten days Roy noticed that the changes in Edward’s memory state started coming much less often, sometimes having several hours between them. It was a good change from the perspective of Edward having to experience the shock of finding out about his condition rarer and Roy not having to remind him about the note that much often either. 

It had some downsides though. Like Edward stucking in his edgy fifteen-year-old self for hours with the last memory of being pissed at Roy for the reason Roy didn’t even remember anymore and didn’t really care, or  in his eighteen-old-self when Edward had had a short but rather intense episode of depression and self-loathing that Roy unfortunately remembered way too well and was particularly unhappy to be reminded of again. 

So when on Wednesday Roy had managed to finish his work day without receiving any phone calls from either of Elrics or from Edward’s lab, and when no one had stormed into his office demanding explanations, Roy couldn’t help but start wondering, whether Edward had found his wallet and had long been on his way to Creta. 

He told himself he wouldn’t begin really worrying up until he came home only not to find Edward there. He explained himself, it was a logical decision, one any smart person would make as there was no point of getting himself worked up over his own pessimistic thoughts. But in reality, anyone could only worry so much, and Roy had spent ten days in a constant state of unease. 

So he exited the Central command building, breathed in chilly evening air and cleared his mind from all thoughts.

He had the whole four minutes of pleasant emptiness in his head until he stepped over the the threshold of the main gates and a view that greeted him reseted all his prior efforts to stay inwardly calm. 

Edward was nervously pacing across the street right in front of the gates and he looked like he had been at this for a while. He had his hands in his pockets, head hung, eyes fixed unseeingly on something under his constantly moving feet. He didn’t even notice when Roy crossed the street and came closer to him, only to anxiously snap his head up when his pacing made him bump into Roy, who purposely stopped on his way. 

“Dammit, what―” The angry frown that started forming between the blond eyebrows disappeared and Edward’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, um… Hey,” he said awkwardly and shifted from foot to foot, perhaps still feeling the need to keep aimlessly moving.

“Hello, Edward. What are doing here?” Roy asked cautiously. Dealing with Edward felt like treading on thin ice on the best days even before this accident with his memory happened. Roy hadn’t really minded it then and, with all honesty, actually quite enjoyed it. He’d learnt to notice the shifts in Edward’s mood, the small tells and other signs. Edward had never become an open book for Roy, but at least it was the book that he could sometimes safely take in his hands and turn a page or two, always learning something new, before it would shut itself close, but never risking this book to grow a set of sharp teeth and bite off his finger. Right now though it felt that he was risking his whole arm. 

It was… strenuous.

Edward took a step back and shrugged.

“I didn’t know where else to go. I mean…” He brushed away his bangs and wrinkled his nose in annoyance when they fell back on his face. “I didn’t want to stay in your house, felt like intruding, so I left as soon as I read the note. Been wandering the city since then.”

“All day?” Roy asked in amusement, feeling himself relax, seeing that Edward, though slightly nervous, wasn’t in any real distress.

“Get that smug smile out of your face, Mustang, what else was I supposed to do? I don’t even have any money! I bet you snitched away my wallet, didn’t you?” Edward snapped in irritation and Roy couldn’t help but smile.

“It was for your own safety.”

“Safety my ass. Probably Al promised you a horrible death if I wander off from the city in my amnesia haze or something.” Edward smirked and put his hands on his hips looking up at Roy, daring him to deny it.

Roy winced at the memory of his last conversation with Al and Edward laughed.

“Please tell him, I took good care of you,” Roy said solemnly.

“Won’t remember to,” Edward answered way too happily and grinned from ear to ear.

“Write it down in your note.”

“Not enough space left.”

“You can take a new sheet of paper, Edward.”

Edward shook his head. “Nu-uh. That’d be too easy.”

“Right,” Roy said dryly. “You wouldn’t want to make my life easier, would you?”

Edward shrugged, tilted his head and looked at Roy sideways. “What’s the fun in that?”

Edward was a pain in his neck, had always been, and Roy couldn’t help but getting a bit masochistic over the years, morbidly enjoying the almost constant turmoil Edward had been bringing him through.

So, he just smiled and shook his head slightly.

“What is the last thing you remember?” he asked instead of answering Edward’s question.

Edward’s smile trembled a bit and he looked around nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck and in the warm light of the street lights Roy saw his cheeks darken.

“I… We… Um.” Edward cleared his throat and looked up at Roy with a smile that to Roy looked as put up to hide Edward’s uncertainty. “We were at the bar with everyone, Jean was buying, cause Rebecca said  _ yes _ and apparently it made him stupid enough to forget to consider the length of the bill in this case,” Edward chuckled. “Jean and Breda got stupidly shitfaced, so I decided to leave earlier. You tagged along, and we just walked the streets talking. It was… nice.” Edward trailed off and averted his gaze, looking down at his feet. “And then you…”

“I kissed you,” Roy finished for him. Edward raised his head, eyes searching Roy’s face for something.

“Yes,” he said carefully.

“I remember that day,” Roy said quietly, lips tilting in a soft smile. This old memory brought a warm soothing feeling in his chest.

“I… um…” Edward was fidgeting, avoiding to look in Roy’s eyes.

“Are you hungry?” Roy asked and Edward looked at him with surprise.

“Uh, what?”

“I’m sure you are. There is a nice little place just around the corner. I would love it, if you’d have a dinner with me.”

Edward started smiling but then suddenly withdrew. He took a half step back and folded his arms on his chest.

“Why?”

Roy tilted a brow, looking at already familiar suspicion in Edward’s eyes.

“That’s what I did that day,” he explained. “Well, the next day, in fact. I took you on a date. And since it is the last thing you remember, that’s what I’m going to do now.”

Roy could still see the remains of the blush on Edward’s cheeks but his brows were furrowed in displease. 

“It was years ago for you!”

“But not for you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Edward dropped his hands, instead shoving them down his pockets. He looked to the side, his hair partially hiding his face from Roy. “Things have changed. I don’t know how, but they sure have. It’s not right. It’s… It’s weird.”

“I understand that you might feel this way, but―” 

“No!” Edward turned back to Roy and Roy was taken aback but unexpected anger he saw in Edward’s eyes. “It’s not right. Years have passed since then, it doesn’t matter that I don’t remember them. But you do. It’s... unfair.”

“What is unfair about this?”

“You’re doing this just for me.” 

“I am not doing this just for you, Edward.”

“Then it’s only worse! I don’t even know what happened these past years! For all I know it could’ve been just a temporary fling and I might as well be long married to some girl and maybe you too and only  _ I _ don’t know that.” 

The words stung. Roy sucked in a breath and put his hands in his coat pockets. To hide from the cold, he told himself, refusing to acknowledge how his fingers trembled slightly.

“Did you see any signs of me living with  _ some girl, _ as you put it, in the house this morning, Edward?” 

“I didn’t look around so I’ve no idea! Maybe you are single but maybe I’m not and now when I don’t remember shit you are just using me...”

Roy flinched like he was slapped and took a step back. He fought to keep composure over his face, that was starting to feel almost numb.

“What does your note say?” He asked, his voice flat, stripped from emotions that he didn’t trust himself to show now.

Edward waved his hand in irritation, shoved his fingers in his messy ponytail and kicked the ground, not looking up at Roy.

“Nothing in particular! Just... Just... Nothing! There are no details! So how can I know?!”

“Up until now whatever it is in that note of yours has been enough for you to not accuse me of  _ using  _ you and your condition for whatever it is you are suspecting me in right now.” Roy answered almost mechanically. Part of him couldn’t believe they were having this conversation out in the open. Another part simply refused to believe they were having this conversation at all. “Up until now, my  _ words  _ were enough for you to not question … “

“Well, that’s what  _ you  _ are saying! I don’t actually remember that!” 

It’s been a long, long time since he was actually  _ stabbed _ , and he’d thought he’d long forgotten the feeling. Somehow, Edward’s words felt just about the same.

“Let’s go home, Edward,” he said wearily. “I am still responsible for your well being this month.” 

“What if I don’t want to?”

“What?”

“You can’t order me to come with you!”

Roy silently looked at Edward, who now again had his arms folded, almost hugging himself protectively like he really believed that Roy can do anything to harm him, to  _ use  _ him. His eyes were a wild mix of anger, hurt and confusion. 

“You’re right, Edward. I can’t.”

Edward opened his mouth to answer but suddenly trailed off, blinking in confusion; the angry scowl giving place to a softer expression, brows tilting in concern.

“Hey, Mustang you look like someone’s died,” Edward said with an uncertain smile and took a step forward. “Hey, no one died right?”

Roy suddenly felt that his legs were no longer holding him and he stumbled to the nearest building, leaning heavily at its wall.

“No.”

“You ok? Mustang?” Roy covered his face with his hand and let out a shuddered breath. “Oi, Mustang? What happened?” Two hands grabbed his shoulders and he could feel Edward’s warm breath on the backside of his hand on his face. “You alright? Mustang? Roy?” 

The wall behind his back was cold, and the hand on his left shoulder even colder. He dropped his hand and looked into two golden eyes that were searching his face with concern. 

He wanted to put his hands on the sides of this worried face, feel the warm coming from it with his fingers. But he couldn’t.

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I shot myself in the foot with the amount of days I chose for this amnesia thingy to last. No way I can come up with ideas for all the remaining 16 days. No way Roy won't go fucking mental xD


	11. Day 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted smth nice after the previous depressing chapter.

Roy barely slept that night, tossing and turning in the bed, drifting from semi-sleep with hazy dreams of something bright and golden back to an uncomfortable dark reality. 

He could hear Edward wandering around the house in the night, peaking through the half open door at not so sleeping Roy, standing there quietly for a few moments, only to wander off back to his own bedroom or down the stairs. Roy thought that he should’ve been curious of what state of memory Edward was in right now but he found that he almost didn’t care. 

When Roy decided to finally wake up, Edward was nowhere to be seen, but the rustle of turning book pages could be heard from the study. Roy walked down the stairs, gave Hawkeye a quick phone call, calling in sick for the day, that she surprisingly didn’t argue with, and, feeling too tired to be hungry, slouched himself over the couch in the living room, closing his eyes with a sigh.

He didn’t realise he’d fallen asleep until two hands on his shoulder jerked him awake some time later.

“Hey, I read the note,” Edward said quietly behind him, and Roy moved to turn around, but the grip on his shoulders tightened and he stilled. “You look tired. How long has it been?”

“Ten days.” 

The hand on his left shoulder moved slightly and the warm fingers rested on the skin of Roy’s neck. Roy flinched and the fingers tightened. 

“So stiff.” Edward started carefully massaging Roy’s neck and shoulder with his flesh hand, the automail one lying still on his right shoulder.

“Edward…”

“I remember some.” Roy heard Edward shift behind him and then felt warm breath in his hair even before Edward pressed his face to the back of Roy’s neck. Roy closed his eyes, suddenly almost afraid to move. “Some from these past ten days. It’s… weird.” Edward’s hand stilled on Roy’s neck and then as if after some consideration moved lower and in a moment Roy found himself in a tight embrace, mismatched arms holding him across the chest and Edward’s face warm in the crook of his neck. “I haven’t been a total jerk all the time, have I?” Edward’s voice was muffled, warm lips moving against Roy’s skin.

“No.”

“Good. I’d be super pissed at myself otherwise.”

“Ed?”

“Mm?”

Roy raised his hand, putting it across Edward’s ones, and Edward hummed happily. 

“As much as I… welcome this, it would probably be better if you keep your distance…” Sharp teeth sank into Roy’s shoulder and he cried in pain and surprise, moving to shove Edward away, but Edward already let go of him and, using the back of the couch as a leverage, jumped over it, landing in all his golden and very pissed off glory on the floor in front of the startled Roy.

“And why the fuck would it be better, huh, Roy?”

Roy massaged the place where Edward bit him, wincing at the lingering pain, ignoring the burning daggers being shoot at him from the pair of golden eyes.

“Because, Edward, I don’t know how long it is till your next memory shift.”

Edward looked at him thoughtfully and sat down on the low table in front of the couch that brought him to eye-to-eye level with Roy. A part of Roy wanted to protest against such use of this type of furniture but got easily distracted by the way morning light coming from the windows was making Edward’s eyes seem even more bottomless. 

Not for the first time in his life Roy cursed himself for not working out some sort of immunity to at least some of Edward’s charms. Granted, a great deal of those “charms” were simply Edward’s normal face ― normal for him being an angry scowl. Basically, just looking at Edward was a serious challenge for Roy’s will, no matter how much and for how long Roy did that. 

Being in love was tough. Being in love with someone like Edward who seemed to be getting more and more gorgeous with every year was even tougher. 

And Roy was a weak, weak man.

That’s why when Edward, said, frowning,

“So what?”

It took Roy a few moments longer than necessary to register the words, his mind too preoccupied with a burning desire to do something ― anything ― to smooth out the crease between Edward’s eyebrows.

Incapable to hold back anymore, he raised his hand, cupping Edward’s cheek, and Edward pressed his face into the palm, his angry scowl melting away along with Roy’s heart.

“I don’t want to scare you away, Ed,” Roy answered quietly. “I don’t know when you will… leave, giving place to another you, who…” 

“Who?” In a rare show of tenderness Edward nuzzled into Roy’s palm, closing his eyes and tilting his lips in a smile.

“Who doesn’t want me.”

Edward’s eyes flew open, he stood up abruptly only to sit down again ― now straddling Roy’s lap, arms on the sides of Roy’s face. It was as intimidating as it was hot.

“Stupid bastard,” Edward said with force, though smile still present on his face. “Haven’t we been through that already? Or on top forgetting shit I now have false memories as well?” 

“I don’t believe that’s the case.”

“Oh, I see, it’s been a while and you need me to reassure you again, huh?” Edward grinned and leaned down, his mouth close to Roy’s ear, and Roy’s hands flew up to grip Edward’s thighs involuntary when Edward whispered, “There is no me in no other time or reality, who doesn’t want you, Roy.”

Roy’s breath caught in his throat, and Edward chuckled, leaving another bite on his neck, but this one, though still as fierce as the first one, was smoothed down with the tongue, making Roy pull Edward closer in his lap.

“I’m gonna fully use this occasion of me remembering that you are a fucking sex god, Roy, and after I’ll selfishly leave you to deal with the me’s who don’t know that.”

“So gracious of you, Ed.”

Edward straightened up and looked at Roy with a devious smile. 

“You can punish me for this after all this memory shit is over, how ‘bout that?” He asked, and not letting Roy answer, covered his mouth in a deep hungry kiss.

Roy was a weak man. And if in this crazy messy month he could have this opportunity to have this gorgeous ― so precious ― man all for himself, he wouldn’t be able to deny himself that.

Edward leaned back from the kiss and his eyes were shining. Roy cradled his face in his hands and matched the wide happy smile with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I'm running out of ideas. HALP. (hope, it wasn't so bad tho)
> 
> This is most definitely my last update this year, so, Happy New Year, boiz and gals, and I'll see ya'll in the next year <3


	12. Day 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> I actually met it in ER how 'bout that xD
> 
> Thx Seithr_Kairy and other commentators for some ideas in this chap ^_^  
> This is the longest chapter so far and I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you guys will like it =)

“For your own sake, sir, I hope this satisfied smile on your face is merely there because your morning coffee was exceptionally good, and not because you skipped work yesterday just to fully use Edward having  _ one of those memory states _ .” Hawkeye’s face was as impassive as always demonstrating neither the insinuation nor her obvious displease with Roy’s implied lack of respect to the work they were doing here. 

It was probably the most diplomatic Roy had ever heard anyone phrasing a simple  _ You ditched your responsibilities for a booty call _ ; and as much as it was not true ― technically, Edward just  _ happened _ to be in  _ one of those memory states _ after Roy had already called in sick ― he couldn’t help it but to feel slightly guilty under Hawkeye’s hard stare when she added a few folders to the pile of the documents on the side of his desk.

“I assure you, that was not the motivation behind my call yesterday,” he said with a polite smile, that was usually able to fool pretty much anyone, but never Riza, who just raised a brow skeptically and silently left Roy’s inner office. 

As soon as the door closed behind her the door to the main office bursted open, handle crashing in the opposite wall, and Roy didn’t flinch only because he had enough experience with this particular style of door opening. 

“Where’s Al?!” Roy heard Edward’s frantic scream and he abruptly rose from his chair and rushed to the main office before Edward tried to break another door.

In the main room no one seemed to be especially bothered by Edward’s sudden appearance, only Havoc was looking at him above his mug of coffee frozen in the air halfway to his lips, eyes gleaming with curiosity. Riza calmly walked to her desk, sat down and threw a silent  _ ‘All yours’ _ look at Roy. It wasn’t the first time Edward was bursting into Roy’s office in the middle of the day during the past almost two weeks, and his first question had always been about the whereabouts of his brother. Yet, up until now, Edward hadn’t shown even a half of an alarm he was demonstrating now.

“What is going on?! What―” Edward trailed off when he noticed Roy and his eyes widened. “Mustang, what…” 

“Edward, listen―”

“Your eyes!” Edward crossed the distance between them and grabbed Roy by his upper arms. “What happened?! What…” He let go of Roy only to shove his hands in his hair taking a few steps back and looking around in a growing panic. “Where is Al?!”

It was clear that Edward’s mind now was somewhere not long after the Promised Day and Roy just hoped that he actually remembered killing Father, otherwise there was a high chance that no amount of convincing and showing him his own note would be enough for Edward to actually believe that it was not some kind of a trick. It would be the first time Edward’s memory would pull him back to that day, and honestly one of just very few possible days that Roy had really hoped Edward wouldn’t be getting back to.    

So before reassuring Edward in his brother’s safety there was this one thing to clarify first.

“Edward, have you killed Father?” Roy asked, drawing Edward’s attention back to him. 

Edward dropped his hands to his sides, leaving his hair in a mess, and stared at Roy with even more alarm. From the corner of his eye Roy could see Havoc putting down his mug and leaning forward on his elbows, watching the scene with interest.

“Of course I fucking killed him, you saw it yourself! I mean…” He grunted in frustration and turned to Hawkeye. “ _ You  _ saw it yourself.” He licked his lips nervously and looked back at Roy with uncertainty pooling in his eyes. “I killed him, right?..”

Roy nodded and smiled. “Of course, Edward, I am just making sure you remember that.”

“Not exactly something I’d so easy forget, I didn’t hit my head  _ that  _ hard,” he mumbled, and looked around at the members of Roy’s team with suspicion.

“It was almost six years ago, Edward,” Roy said softly keeping himself from reaching to Edward, who looked back at him with shocked expression. 

Edward opened his mouth, closed it again and licked his lips. He threw a questioning glance at Hawkeye who merely nodded, and Roy could see Edward’s throat moving when he swallowed hard. 

“Where is Al?” Edward asked again in a hoarse voice.

“In Creta right now, for work.” Riza’s answer sounded uncharacteristically soft. “We don’t have his direct number, I doubt he has any, but I can try calling the last place from where he got in contact with the General.”

“General?..” Edward asked in confusion.

“Roy,” Hawkey answered, already dialing some number on her phone.

“R―” Edward looked at Roy. “Mustang got promoted, huh.” He blinked and took in a slow breath. An uncertain smile that, judging by the rest of his face was intended to be a cocky one, tilted his lips. “Six fucking years and you are still not the Führer?! Dammit, Mustang, what the hell?”

Roy smiled, happy to see Edward at least attempting to get a hold on his emotions. Roy could see he still wasn’t entirely convinced, but that was the start. After all, they’d been through this dozens of times already in this past twelve days.

“There were… complications,” Roy answered, and threw a hard look at Breda who quite unsuccessfully tried masking his laughs with a cough. 

“What kind of complications?” Edward asked, his eyes darting between Roy and Riza, who was quietly talking with someone on the phone, but by her responses Roy concluded it was not Alphonse. 

“Important ones, Edward. Now―”

“Sir, I’m sorry for interrupting.” Riza put the receiver back on the phone and turned to Edward. “I wasn’t able to reach Alphonse, but they said they would let him know to call here as soon as possible, which they suppose should be within an hour.”

“Thank you.” Edward nodded and breathed out, some visible tension leaving his body. “Now, if you can explain me what the fuck is happening and who should I punch in a face for making me miss out six years of my life?”

Havoc chuckled and Roy gave him a hard stare.

“You didn’t exactly miss out those years, Edward, but if there is someone to blame for that it, it would be you. Do you happen to have a note on you?”

“A note?” Edward frowned.

“You wrote yourself a note that is supposed to explain you your condition. I do hope it is in one of your pockets right now,” Roy explained patiently. 

Edward measured him with a suspicious look but started searching through his pockets. Meanwhile Havoc leaned to whisper in Breda’s ear,

“He sounds so ‘excited’ telling this. I wonder how many times exactly he’s said that already.”

The whisper sounded too loud in a quiet room and Roy gave Havoc unimpressed look, while Riza cleared her throat and silently put her gun on her desk, not even looking at Jean.

“Um, sorry, sir,” Havoc mumbled and made a gesture of closing his lips on an imaginary zipper. Roy fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned his attention back to Edward, who still was searching through his pockets, emptying their useless now contents on Fuery’s desk. Roy sighed, realising, that Edward had again left the note somewhere in the house, making Roy’s part in their everyday  _ “What happened?”―“Your recklessness happened”  _ exchange significantly harder. 

“There is no note,” Edward finally said and looked at Roy with expression of almost betrayal, as if Roy was the one to blame that Edward loved leaving his things everywhere around him in the places where he himself then had difficulty to locate them. 

“Well, we are doing it the hard way, then,” Roy muttered under his breath, made a quick trip to his desk and took today’s newspaper from it. “Here,” he said getting back to Edward and handing him the newspaper. “Twelve days ago you accidentally prematurely activated the array you had been researching, and it messed up with your memory. For another two weeks you will keep forgetting random periods of your life. After that you should be back to normal,” Roy explained, fighting the urge to add  _ “if I accidentally prematurely don’t choke you with my own hands”.  _ After all, here Roy was definitely on the same page with Alphonse ― if they were to murder Edward for being that stupid as to do this to himself ( _ and  _ to Roy) he would prefer to do it when Edward could actually  _ remember _ why. 

Edward raised his eyes from the newspaper, blinked, hummed and said,

“It’s like a time-travel.”

Roy exchanged looks with Riza, ignoring Breda’s and Havoc’s chuckles, and then took the remaining two steps between him and Edward and stared him in the eye, tilting his brows in amusement.

“Don’t you notice anything, Edward?”

“Whoa, Mustang, you are way too close!” Edward attempted to take a step back, but Fuery’s desk behind him prevented him from going too far.

“Calm down and use your brain.”

“I always use my brain, you bastard!” Edward sputtered in exasperation, carefully avoiding to meet Roy’s eyes. He was slightly blushing and Roy couldn’t help but smile. One thing that he hadn’t got to see last couple of years was blushing Edward, and this memory accident giving Roy this opportunity to see Edward like this again was not such a bad thing. 

“So it seems.”

“You― Wait a second.” Edward looked at him upside down, raised his eyes and stared in surprise at the top of Roy’s head. “Did you fucking shrink, Mustang?!”

Behind him Havoc made a choking sound distinctly resembling a laugh. 

“Try again,” Roy said, giving Edward a flat look.

Edward’s eyes grew wide, he put his open palm on the top of his head and moved it toward Roy until it bumped him in the bridge of his nose. Which was significantly higher than the result a sixteen-year-old Edward would get if he attempted to perform this back when he had in fact been sixteen.

“Holy shit, I’m fucking tall now!” Edward screamed, grinning smugly from ear to ear. “I mean, I was never  _ short _ , but now I’m even taller!” He looked genuinely happy about his ‘sudden’ growth spurt and Roy bit the inside of his cheek keeping himself from commenting that, considering that Roy himself could hardly be called tall, Edward, still being shorter than him, wasn’t exactly tall either. “It’s not a time travel then!”

“Did you really think it was?” Roy asked in amusement.

“Not really, but it  _ could’ve  _ been. That’d be actually cooler than not remembering shit from the past six years. I need a mirror!”

Roy doubted it’d be ‘cooler’, but he had to admit this would probably be easier for him to handle. After all, such memory shifts did in fact feel for Roy as time-travel, only, if time-travel was possible, he doubted that it would work in such a way as him getting a guest from different times in past every few hours. 

Edward crossed the room to the small mirror hanging from a wall and now was standing in front of it, pinching and pulling at his own cheeks with a childish amusement written all across his face. 

“Shit, I really do look older!” He turned around and looked at everyone present in the room. “You gotta tell me everything!” Havoc and Breda grinned and leaned forward enthusiastically, while the rest of the team, including Roy, was not so excited, and Edward’s brows tilted in question. “Wait, it’s not the first time I’m asking that, aren’t I?...”

“It doesn’t matter!” Havoc stood up abruptly and walked to Edward, grabbing him by his shoulders. “I’ll tell you  _ everything! _ ”

“Maybe not everything, Lieutenant…” Roy objected weakly, but got completely ignored.

“Your legs, tell me how you fixed your legs!” 

“It can wait!” They both looked like over-enthusiastic kids and Roy leaned at the side of Hawkeye’s desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Me and Becca are married!”

“Holy shit, Jean! Congrats!” Edward gave Havoc a hug and Havoc laughed.

“Also, you and General―”

“Don’t you have work to do, Lieutenant?” Roy asked dryly and Edward turned to him frowning in displease.

“Look at you, six years and you’re still a bastard.”

Roy gritted his teeth thinking of the possible answer that would not disrupt the work even more, but the phone on Hawkeye’s desk suddenly rang and Edward almost jumped to it, grabbing the receiver before Hawkeye’s hand could even reach it.

“Al! Al is it you?!”

Edward’s face melted in a smile when he heard an answer and Roy turned his attention back to Havoc, who was entirely not impressed by the flat stare Roy was giving him.

“You are no fun, General. I really wanted him to make that face again.” Havoc shook his head in disappointment and sat on the side of his desk.

“What face?” Roy asked. 

“What?! No fucking way!” Edward’s high-pitched scream made Roy wince and he fought the urge to rub his ears. Havoc’s smile widened in satisfaction, his eyes fixed on Edward.

“... _ That _ face.”

Roy turned around and he had to immediately admit it was definitely a rare sight.

Seeing Edward red with anger was a normal occasion for all of them. Seeing his face burn with such level of embarrassment was something Roy hadn’t seen often. Granted, each time it was triggered by something that Alphonse said. Edward’s brother was wicked.

Edward was listening to something Alphonse was saying and his face was getting even redder to the point that Roy could almost imagine steam coming out of his ears.

“Oh my god, this actually explains why I feel so funny…” Edward suddenly mumbled and Roy almost choked on his own spit. “What? Nothing! No, Al! Oh god, I hate you!” Edward screamed in mortification, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. “And you!” He pointed a trembling finger in Roy’s direction. “ _ You _ I hate the most!” Roy cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to ignore Riza’s accusing stare.

“It was  _ not _ a good idea. Sir.”

“If anything, it was not  _ my _ idea,” Roy hissed defensively.

“I know you have a will of a five-year-old in a candy shop when it comes to Edward, but I thought better of you,” Riza whispered. ”Look what you did,” she gestured at shaking Edward, who now was covering his face with his palm. “I’ve never seen him so embarrassed.”

“Me neither,” Roy muttered.

Hawkeye just shook her head but said nothing. Roy was fighting the urge to pull the phone away from Edward and Edward away from this place where there were too many people staring at him, that was definitely not improving his emotional state, but then Edward suddenly lifted his head, mouth open in shock, looking at Roy, and from what Roy saw in Edward’s eyes, he could pretty much guess what Alphonse was telling him now.

“But I don’t have―” Edward mumbled in the receiver, searching Roy’s face for something. “Oh, well, that does sound like me. But what about― Really? Oh.” The redness of embarrassment was slowly fading from his face and a small smile tilted his lips. “That’s… good.”

Edward was visibly calming down and in return everyone else in the room. Havoc returned to his desk and only occasionally was throwing curious glances at Edward, Hawkeye was reading some documents looking completely unbothered by Edward sitting at the other side of her desk. He was talking quietly now, smiling occasionally and Roy took in this view, savoring it. Edward was happy when he was talking with his brother, but there was nothing like this first moments after the Promised day when Edward could hear Alphonse voice not resonating in the hollow metal armor, and this warm smile on his face was something Roy hadn’t seen in years ― not just love for his brother, not just happiness for his well-being, but a breathtaking relief of an immeasurable burden having been taken from his shoulders.  

Roy walked to his personal office but before closing the door threw another glance at Edward. Edward lifted his head, caught his eyes and just for a moment before he returned his attention back to his brother, his smile shifted to another one ― the one that for the last few years he had only reserved for Roy.

Roy smiled in return and closed the door.


	13. Day 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is small, but... THE NOTE! 
> 
> Hope you will enjoy it =)

Roy woke up when he felt something touching his forehead. He opened his eyes and while it was still quite dark, he could clearly see Edward sitting on the side of the bed, left hand near Roy’s head, fingers in his hair, stroking softly.

“Ed?”

“Hey. I read the note,” Edward said quietly. “Pretty shitty, huh? How long has it been already?”

Roy moved to sit up, but Edward pushed him back and climbed in the bed, lying down on his side. 

“Two weeks give or take,” Roy answered. Edward hummed, shifted closer and studied Roy’s face.

“You look like shit.”

“It’s dark, you can’t see,” Roy objected, though he was pretty sure Edward was right.

“I can tell. You sound like you look like shit.”

Roy smiled and reached to brush a few stray hairs from Edward’s face.

“Just tired, love.”

Edward caught his hand when Roy wanted to withdraw it and pressed Roy’s palm to his cheek, holding it there.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and Roy just shook his head. “Twelve more days?”

“Something like that.”

“I will make it up to you.” Edward smiled and turned slightly to plant a kiss at Roy’s palm.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Edward chuckled and then leaned to press their foreheads together.

“Hey, you know what?”

There was only one thing Edward had always said after this question, but, as usual, Roy just smiled and asked,

“What?”

“I love you.”

Roy’s smile widened and Edward grinned seeing that. It was one of Roy’s favorite things, seeing how Edward’s smile was getting brighter once he saw Roy smiling in return.

Roy kissed him as an answer and Edward hummed happily. 

“Hey, how long do you think till my memory fucks me up again?” Edward asked pulling back.

“Should be hours.”

“Nice. I’m gonna cuddle you then,” Edward said, and not waiting for a response, wiggled his way under the blanket pressing his hot body and cold automail to Roy. Roy flinched involuntarily and Edward laughed.

“You hate cuddles,” Roy said, trying to simultaneously stay as close as possible to Edward’s warm parts while keeping himself away from the cold metal limbs. As always, he failed.

“But you love them, and you’re tired, and I feel that I owe you, so I’m gonna cuddle you, and don’t argue.”

Only a fool would argue with Edward, and Roy was no fool, so when Edward started pushing him on his other side, he rolled over obediently and Edward instantly spooned him, his flesh arm between their bodies, his automail one across Roy’s chest, warming up quickly.

Edward was nuzzling against the back of Roy’s neck, his breath warm and relaxing on his skin, and Roy closed his eyes, putting his hand on Edward’s metal one, squeezing his fingers, like he knew Edward would feel. He didn’t want to fall asleep, but wanted to enjoy Edward being with him in their bed again after all these long days, even if it was just temporary. 

But Edward pressed himself closer around Roy, and sighed peacefully and, with a smile tugging on his lips, Roy didn’t notice as he fell asleep.

He woke to his alarm going off and Edward groaning behind him. Edward was sleeping on his back, hair a mess, mouth half open and Roy couldn’t help but smile. He hesitated whether to wake him up or not, and decided there would be hardly any difference if Edward woke up here or in the guest room after his memory changed ― all in all he would either recognise the place, or it would be completely alien to him, no matter the room.

Roy showered and changed into his uniform, Edward still sound asleep in the bed. He’d come here at night just in his pajamas, so most likely the note was still in the guest room. Roy went there and picked up Edward’s clothes that were scattered on the floor. The familiar folded sheet of paper was lying on the nightstand and he took it as well. It was the first time when Roy was holding this note in his hands and on his way back to the bedroom he was trying to decide if he really wanted to see what Edward had written there.

He put the clothes on the free side of the bed where Edward would instantly see them, threw a glance at Edward’s sleeping form and unfolded the note.

Struggling through Edward’s barely readable handwriting, Roy smiled to himself, reading the shaky letters. He folded the note when he was done and put it on top of Edward’s clothes.

Edward rolled on his side, smacked his lips and mumbled something resembling Roy’s name.

Roy leaned down and pressed his lips to Edward’s temple in a soft kiss.

“I know, Ed. I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, **let me know if you can't see the picture**!
> 
> I hope you guys liked the note and the wait was worth it and you are not disappointed xD Please, let me know, what you think =)


	14. Day 22.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I am skipping straight to day 22, and then there will be a chapter for, let's say, day 24 or so and then mb one final one (day 26-27). Cause I don't feel like writing for each day of this fic, but don't wanna just abandon it.
> 
> Super tiny chapter now, and hopefully I will manage to finish the next one soon (have already 2k words there)

Roy walked in his office about half an hour before the official day start and at least an hour before the time he usually tend to appear at work, so it was not surprising to be met by a question in Riza’s eyes. What  _ was  _ surprising though, was an unusually sleepy and quite disheveled looking Jean, who cut his yawn short when he saw Roy coming in.

“Wow, General, you are so early today,” he said, leaning forward on his elbows and looking at Roy with almost morbid curiosity. 

“I can say the same to you, Jean,” Roy answered walking to the table where they kept their mugs. He opened the coffee pot, checking its content, and, humming satisfyingly, poured himself some coffee.

“Lieutenant didn’t come here earlier. He actually spent the night here,” Riza said from behind her desk. 

“Did you, now? What happened?” The coffee was still hot, but Roy ignored the borderline scalding heat of it in lieu of delivering some much needed caffeine in his system. 

“Got a fight with Becca, she kicked me out,” Jean sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“And you had nowhere else to go?”

“I could’ve barged in to some of my pals, but they live farther from here than I am, and I figured I gotta be at work today anyway so I might as well just go straight here.”

“Wise thinking. But next time please make sure to open the windows when you smoke.”

“Sure will do, sir.” Jean gave him a thumb up and returned back to his yawning. It probably was way too late to try to imbue some discipline into his team anyway, so Roy just rolled his eyes internally and lowered himself in a free chair beside Riza’s desk.

“Why are  _ you _ here so early?” She asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Edward woke me up early….“

“How is he these days?”

Roy sipped more of his coffee, put the mug on the desk and rubbed his eyes.

“He proposed me yesterday.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you can say?”

“Congratulations, sir,” Riza said impassively, just barely tilting one of her brows in what most likely was an amusement. 

“What did you answer?” Havoc asked, suddenly sounding more awake than a minute ago.

Roy eyed him, aiming for the most unimpressed stare he could manade and ignored the question. 

“Thank you,” he said to Riza instead, and the tilt of her brow became more evident.

“I hope you said yes,” Havoc went on. “I wouldn’t mind getting drunk on your wedding.”

“Wedding? Who’s getting married?” Fuery entered the office, closing the door behind him, and eyeing the other curiously.

“No one!”

“The General.”

“But—“

“Edward proposed him yesterday,” Havoc declared cheerfully, as if it was the best news he’s heard in a long time. 

“Oh,” Fuery said. “But he won’t remember about it anyway, right?”

Havoc slammed his palm on the desk and leaned back in his chair. “Ah, dammit, and I was hoping to have a party.”

“You just want to get drunk on my money, Jean,” Roy accused him, picking up his coffee mug and standing up.

“What’s wrong with that?!” 

Roy sighed and hurried into his inner office until any more ridiculous question were thrown his way.

He sat down in his chair, put his elbows on the desk and dropped his face in his palms, closing his eyes. He was in the midst of reflecting on his life choices, when her heard the door opening and someone quietly walking in. The rustle of a pile of papers put on his desk followed, and Roy opened one eye to look up at Hawkeye in between his fingers. 

She still had that amused tilt of her brow but now her lips were curled in a smile as well.

“So,” she said, and Roy closed his eye again and let out a dramatic sigh. “Did you tell him that you are already married?” 

Roy groaned and didn’t answer. He could swear he heard a quiet soft laugh.


	15. Day 25.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He wanted to go to all those times in past, and tell himself, that his life was worth living because one day he would be blessed to be loved by someone so radiant and bright that his light would cast Roy’s shadows away._   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter in this fic.
> 
> Warning for kids and extreme tooth rotting mushiness. I repeat, **extreme** mushiness. I mean it! It got out of hand a bit, lol. You've been warned xD

A phone call woke Roy up at unholy hour when the morning light just barely started seeping through the curtains, and he made his way to the phone, struggling to open his eyes.

He barely pressed the dynamic to his ear when it exploded with a voice a tad too loud for his still sleepy brain that hadn’t gotten any thorough rest for three weeks straight.

“With all due respect, General, you either coming here by the end of the day and getting Edward back to Central or I’m doing this myself and bringing my biggest wrench with me!”

“Winry?!” Roy’s eyes flew open and his head involuntary jerked to the side and he only just noticed that the door to the guest room was wide open. For one long delusional moment he entertained the thought of this just being some sort of a mistake, and surely any second now Edward, woken up by the phone call, would exit the room. Seconds were passing, Edward was not emerging from the room and there were no signs that Roy wasn’t in fact completely alone in the house. “What time is it?”

“Almost five,” Winry answered with a sigh. “He got here an hour ago. Woke me up, the kids, freaked out when he saw them and now refuses to listen to me.” Roy heard some rustle and her next words sounded muffled as if she was covering her mouth. “He is scaring the kids, Roy,” she said sadly. “You know, they love him, but now he doesn’t even recognise them.” She hesitated and added in a whisper, “At first he thought they were his, and he just forgot it all. He has this face now, the same he had six years ago, when… You know.” She trailed off and sighed. “He never wanted this, and now he thinks… We’ve all been over it already. I don’t want to see him like that again, Roy.”

Neither did Roy. He still remembered quite vividly that year when Edward had been beating himself up for his ill-conceived proposal to Winry, torturing not only himself, but Winry, Roy and his own brother as well. It had been painful for all of them and even more so because it had been so simple to avoid in the first place.

Roy rubbed at his eyes, forcing his mind to wakefulness, and quickly weighed out his options.

“He should have a note on him that explains it.”

“I know, Al warned me. I told Ed, but he doesn’t seem to have it,” Winry answered, clearly upset. “He said he saw a newspaper with the date on a train and I told him about his memory issues. But I don’t know much and I am not sure how to tell him about you. He is very confused.”

“I can imagine…”

“Do you think―”

“Is it Al?” Edward’s voice cut in suddenly.

“No, Ed, it’s Roy. Do you want to—“

“Mustang?! Why are you talking to him?”

“I told you, Ed, maybe you should—“

“No.”

“Edward, please.”

“Stop it, Win.”

Roy heard a rustle and distant voices talking too quietly for him to make sense of them and then the line was cut short. He put the receiver back on the phone base, sighed and started getting ready for the hopefully short trip.

**~**

The house looked the same as the last time he and Edward visited Al’s family. Winry met him at the door, looking concerned and annoyed at the same time. Roy could really relate to this, as he had been in the midst of these two feelings constantly for the past three weeks since the accident.

“It is uncle Roy, honey, do you remember him?” Winry said softly to her daughter Nina who was looking at Roy from behind her mother’s leg, smiling shyly.

“Hello, princess,” Roy smiled, crouching down to the kid’s level. “You’ve grown so big since I last saw you.”

“You should visit more often, Roy,” Winry said, ruffling her daughter’s blond hair. “At such age I wouldn’t be surprised if the kids completely forgot you.”

“We wouldn’t want it, would we,” Roy answered softly. “And where is Maes?”

“With Ed.”

“I am four already!” Little Nina said suddenly, letting go of Winry’s leg and stepping forward.

“Oh, so grown up already,” Roy answered, stretching out his hand, that the girl instantly put her tiny palm in. She was looking at Roy with that sort of fascination that kids have when they see something new, and Roy smiled wider.

“How old are you, uncle Loy?” she asked with genuine interest, and Roy heard Winry chuckle.

“Uncle Roy is very old, honey, you don’t know such numbers yet,” she said with a laugh.

Roy looked up, pressing his free hand to his heart and said dramatically,

“Straight into my heart, Mrs. Elric.”

“You will survive, Mr. Mustang.”

“What is it with Elrics hating me so much?”

“It’s how we show our love.”

Roy laughed and turned his attention to the kid in front of him. She was looking at him with almost adoration, mouth half open and blue eyes wide and shining.

“Uncle Loy, hug!” she said suddenly stretching out both of her arms and Roy gladly picked her up and rose back to his feet, holding the giggling child with one arm.

Winry shook her head with amused smile.

“I don’t know how you do this. I can ask Ed, but I doubt he knows the answer.”

“Just a natural charm,” Roy smiled.

“Right. Let’s hope your natural charm will help you now.” She gestured toward the back part of the house.

“Where is he?” Roy asked.

“Where _can_ he be? In Al’s study of course.”

Roy moved to put the girl down, but she hugged his neck tightly and refused to let go.

“Take Nina with you,” Winry said with a grin. “Will make Ed filter his language at least.”

“Didn’t you say Maes is already with Ed?”

“Two kids ― doubled effect.”

“That’s dirty.”

“Always works,” Winry grinned.

They walked down the corridor to the half opened door of the study, and Roy couldn’t help but stop in his track once he entered it at the view before him.

Edward was sleeping in an armchair in the corner, head on one armrest and legs hanging from another. His neck was bend in the angle that looked entirely uncomfortable but Roy was well familiar with his ability to fall asleep in any possible position.

Maes, Alphonse and Winry’s first child, was curled up in another armchair, hands under his cheek, a bit of drool coming out of his half opened mouth.

“Perfect, now Ed won’t scream either,” Winry said quietly and moved to take the girl from Roy’s arms. “C’mon, honey, you don’t want to wake your brother up, right?” Nina pouted and clinged to Roy more. “You can help me in the workshop,” Winry added with a wink.

Nina grinned, eyes shining, and reached to Winry.

“Taking after her mother, I see?” Roy asked with a smile, handing the girl to Winry.

“Not as much as Maes, actually. But they are still too young, time will tell.” She took a giggling girl and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Roy approached Edward, wondering if he would still have the same memories as before he had fallen asleep. Roy crouched in front of him, putting his hand on Edward’s left shoulder, gently squeezing it.

Edward flinched and opened his eyes, quickly scanning the room in alarm. His features softened visibly when his eyes fell on the sleeping boy, but hardened back again when he looked down at Roy.

“What are you doing here, Mustang?” he asked sharply, sitting up.

Roy stood up, reaching to the inner pocket of his jacket. He took out the folded note, handing it to Edward.

“Whatever Winry told you, it is true.”

“I’m not saying she lied. It’s just…” Edward cut himself short and gestured at the note in Roy’s hand. “What is it?”

“The note you wrote for yourself three weeks ago.”

Edward took the note hesitantly. “Have you read it?” he asked.

“I have, yes.”

Edward nodded silently, seemingly satisfied with the answer and unfolded the paper.

Roy had seen him read it countless times already, and yet almost every time the expression on his face was different. Just slight shifts of his brows, the narrowing of his eyes, confused blinking now and then, a little twitch of the corners of his mouth indicating the urge to smile ― the little signs of no doubt strong emotions going through him varied every time.

This time Edward finished reading the note with eyes gleaming with unshed tears. He folded the paper, putting it on an armrest, and closed his eyes, a moment later bringing his left hand to his face to hide it in his palm.

“So, we are dating then?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“You can say so.”

“The f― hell does that mean?” He dropped his hand and looked up, eyes red but no tears visible. “Can’t you answer like a normal human being?!” he hissed, obviously trying to stay quiet in order to not wake up the kid sleeping nearby.

Roy pondered whether it was a good idea to actually tell him everything now. There was a high chance Edward in such a vulnerable state as he was now would not even believe his words, thinking of it as some sort of a cruel joke. Roy remembered this eighteen-year-old Edward, he knew the doubts and fears he now had in his head. But he wouldn’t stay in this memory state forever and hardly anything Roy did or said would actually change their dynamics once Edward was back to his normal self.

Roy hesitated for a moment, but he knew that at the state Edward was in now, the last thing he needed was a lie.

“We are married,” he answered finally, carefully observing Edward’s reaction.

“We are what?!” Edward asked in a harsh whisper standing up abruptly and making Roy take a step back. “What?!”

“I can’t really prove it to you right now, but Winry can confirm, if you don’t believe me. If anything, I wouldn’t joke or lie about such matters.”

“But….” Edward gulped and brought both of his hands to his face, looking at his fingers with wide eyes. “Where the hell is my ring then?”

“Like I said, I can’t prove it to you now,” Roy answered patiently. “You didn’t want to wear your ring, assuming it would get in a way and might even cause injury,” Roy explained, and then added, seeing Edward tilting his head sceptically. “Well, that’s your official explanation. For whoever would wonder. To me you said, if I recall correctly, _I don’t need to wear some stupid piece of metal to remember that I am stuck with your bastardly ass forever.”_

Edward’s eyes widened and Roy had to hold back a laugh.

“Well, damn, this sure does sound like me.” Edward hummed and then looked down at Roy’s hands. “Where is yours then?“

Roy freed the top two buttons of his shirt reaching in the opening to pull at the thin chain around his neck. A simple golden ring was hanging from the chain and Roy put it on his palm, stretching it as far as the length of the chain allowed it. Edward stepped forward, taking the ring between two fingers rotating it and stopping when Roy knew he saw an engraving on the inside of it. _Love you. E.,_ it said. And the date of their wedding.

Edward’s eyes widened and he was looking at the ring for another couple of moments without blinking.

“That’s… That’s… Holy shit,” he said finally, letting go of the ring. Roy let it fall to his chest, not rushing to put it away, seeing how Edward’s eyes were still glued to it.

“I decided it would be improper if only I wear the ring. You keep yours in a safe place, I figured around my neck would be a safe enough place for mine,” Roy explained. “I understand that it’s hard to…” He trailed off, when Edward gulped hard, suddenly falling back down in the armchair. He covered his face with his both hands, curling into himself, shoulders shaking slightly.

Roy felt his heart fall and he lowered himself down on his knees, reaching to Edward’s shoulder, putting his hand on it carefully, afraid he would be pushed away.

“Edward?” he asked softly, not sure if his presence was even welcomed now. But Edward didn’t pull away, instead raising his head and looking at Roy. His eyes were reddened, tears had left wet trails on his cheeks, but he was smiling. A small smile, as if he wasn’t sure he was in right to.

“It’s just…” he started, cleared his throat and went on. “I knew I made a mistake but I didn’t know how to make it better, I didn’t know what to do. I was asking myself what I want, how I see my future. Was trying to imagine all possible outcomes. Trying to come up with a solution that wouldn’t hurt anyone and it seemed that there was none.” He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment and then looked back at Roy, eyes smiling with some disbelief and lots of hope pooling in them. “And now I just _know_ for sure what is gonna happen… what happened! And it’s… It is such a relief!” He leaned back with a sigh and turned his head to look at the sleeping boy. “And apparently everyone’s fine…” he whispered under his breath, but then frowned turning back to look at Roy. “Right?...”

Roy couldn’t help but move his hand to cup Edward’s cheek. He brushed off the remaining tears with his thumb and smiled.

“Yes, Ed. We all are,” he answered.

Edward was looking at him with a marvel in his eyes, and Roy felt warm in his chest. He smiled and saw a flush rising up Edward’s cheeks.

“Holy shit,” Edward muttered suddenly, as if only now fully comprehending the situation and what Roy revealed to him. “Married, huh?”

Roy stroked Edward’s cheek again and smiled wider.

“We are,” he answered softly.

“And…” Edward licked his lips nervously and Roy wondered if his closeness was making him uncomfortable. But Edward didn’t make any move to get rid of Roy’s hand on the side of his face. “And you okay with that?” Edward asked hesitantly, making Roy chuckle.

A frown started forming between Edward’s brows and Roy hurried to reassure him that he was not laughing at him.

“I am more than okay with that, Ed,” he answered, and took Edward’s left hand in his. “You make me happy,” he added honestly.

“Yeah, right,” Edward said sceptically.

“It is true, Ed,” Roy answered quietly. He let go of Edward’s face in order to take his hand in his both. He raised it to his face and planted a soft kiss on Edward’s knuckles.

Roy had a lot more than that to tell him.

He could tell him, how being with Edward taught Roy how to love someone more than he loved himself and how it was the best feeling Roy had ever experienced.

Roy could tell him, how even the worst most longest day could get significantly brighter when Roy returned home to Edward, who was waiting for him ― always waiting for him, no matter how late Roy’s work was keeping him in his office.

He could tell him, that he remembered every and each of the mornings when he got to wake up before Edward and could hold him in his arms and watch him sleep, wondering how he had managed to get that lucky, and a little bit worried that his heart might just burst with the enormity of the feelings filling it.

He could tell him, that with Edward Roy felt a decade younger and at least two decades happier and more alive, as if just being with him, just being in the focus of Edward’s love, was enough to make him forget all the blood, sand and fire, and even Roy’s inner demons were less scary when Edward would whisper _I love you_ against his lips and would smile sunnily.

There were so many more things rather than a simple _You make me happy_ that Roy could tell Edward now, but it was not the time, not for this eighteen-year-old Edward, who hadn’t yet lived all those years, who hadn’t grown to realise himself worthy of being loved and hadn’t seen yet that his own love was so much stronger than any other’s. Who hadn’t yet grown to see his crush and physical desire reform into something more calm and solid, who wasn’t yet ready to say _I love him_ even in his own head, let alone to the girl who he had thought he was supposed to marry.

These were the things this Edward was not yet ready to hear, so Roy just pressed his lips again to his fingers, and said something that was more than enough now and yet didn’t even come close to reflect everything that the two of the had grown to be.

“These years with you have been the happiest years of my life.”

Edward’s cheeks reddened more, he was looking at Roy with wide eyes but his lips were tilting in a smile, when he whispered again, “Holy shit,” making Roy laugh softly. “I…” Edward swallowed visibly and licked his lips again. “I _really_ wanna kiss you,” he said and then added hurriedly, “If that’s ok.”

Roy rose to his feet, pulling Edward up with him by his hand. Edward’s cheeks were burning, Roy could see the vein on the side of his neck pulsing rapidly. He was licking his lips nervously and it had been such a long time since Roy seen Edward acting so coy, and he couldn’t blame himself for finding this so endearing.

He put his hands on Edward’s hips and leaned a bit closer and it was enough to make Edward take this half step between them and press himself to Roy. Their lips met and Roy felt Edward’s shuddering breath on his cheek and his hands were clutching the front of Roy’s shirt in a tight grip.

It wasn’t like any kiss they had shared before, neither the ones in their married life, neither the first few ones when they had just tentatively started their relationship. What was supposed to be another of probably million kisses they had shared, now felt somehow different for Roy. For Edward it was their first kiss and perhaps the slightly hesitant but at the same time very eager move of his lips and tongue against Roy’s mouth, made Roy forget for a moment of the years they had already spent together, and the memory of their first kiss shared so long ago in the kitchen of Roy’s ― now their ― house, rose back in his mind.

He didn’t know it could be possible for him to appreciate his husband more. He didn’t know he could find it in him to be even more grateful for every day spent with this man by his side. But right now, feeling Edward experience this very first moment when what he’d dreamt of and couldn’t hope for for so long was finally happening, made Roy’s head reel and his heart swell, and he wanted to hold Edward close, and never let go. He wanted to cover each centimeter of his skin with kisses, whispering the words of love over and over and over again.

He wanted to find a way to go back in time, to the twenty-year-old Roy, to the thirty-year-old Roy, to the Roy-nine-years-ago who was drinking himself to sleep after the news of Edward’s proposal to Winry had gotten to him, drinking not to forget, because there had been so much in his life that it was impossible to erase from his memory, but because drinking was making the heavy weight of his loneliness feel almost bearable. He wanted to go to all those times in past, and tell himself, that his life was worth living because one day he would be blessed to be loved by someone so radiant and bright that his light would cast Roy’s shadows away.

Edward pulled back slowly, breathing heavily, and Roy leaned down, burying his face in his husband’s neck.

 _I love you,_ he wanted to say. _You have no idea how much I love you, Ed._

Instead he just breathed in the familiar soothing scent of Edward’s skin and let go, taking a step back. Edward’s eyes were roaming his face, studying, searching.

Roy smiled and wondered, what Edward could see now in his eyes.

“Are you ready to go home?” Roy asked.

Edward breathed out soundly with a short soft laugh and smiled.

“Oh, yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and it it didn't give you diabetes xD

**Author's Note:**

> Please, drop me a line in the comments to let me know what you think, it will make my day! ^_^
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